hunter

0 points

1 points to Penpusher

1 logline
7 reviews

Four teenage urban explorers must walk six miles through the dangerous ruins of Detroit to reach a pay phone after getting robbed in the city?s abandoned underbelly.

August 7, 2013

on Four teenage urban explorers must walk six miles through the dangerous ruins of Detroit to reach a pay phone after getting robbed in the city?s abandoned underbelly.

Thanks for the comments!
on When two slacker supermarket shelf-stackers find $5 million worth of cocaine hidden in a crate of bananas from Columbia, they see an opportunity to finally become rich and get girls – by becoming Sydney's biggest (albeit most naive) drug traffickers.

Nice logline.
on A lugubrious rock star finds himself stuck in his own purgatory.

I wouldn't use a word like lugubrious. I personally had to look it up to know what it meant. With a logline or synopsis, it's best to keep it as simple as possible.
on A group of high school kids discover how to time travel, but fail to recognize the potential consequences.

Way too vague for me. Sounds like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
on When his girlfriend goes missing, David must track down her whereabouts after he realizes she?s not who she was pretending to be.

Not sure if I understand the premise. So David realizes his girlfriend is pretending to be someone else? Instead of drawing me in, it just kind of confuses me. How about something like: David must track down his girlfriend's whereabouts…
on A young woman, kidnapped when she was a kid, returns home to the family she barely remembers and struggles to feel ?at home.?

A young woman who was kidnapped as a child comes home to a family she barely remembers.
on After returning from their honeymoon, a newly-wed couple's relationship is put to the test when their respective ex-lovers reappears and tries to 'steal' them back.

How about this: "A newly wed couple's relationship is put to the test when their respective ex-lovers reappear and try to 'steal' them back." You have a couple of plural words that should be singular.

Four teenage urban explorers must walk six miles through the dangerous ruins of Detroit to reach a pay phone after getting robbed in the city?s abandoned underbelly.