When amateur thieves break into his retirement home it’s upto an aging war veteran to kick their a**, risking his slip disk

Title: puncture punch

2 reviews

Neer Shelter 55,464 pts

This reads very well as a premise for a comedy.

I would make the stakes higher, money is less relevant for these people than their memories.

I would also expand the story to include more of the MC's retirement home commrads:
After thieves break into their retirement village, a war veteran must lead a group of seniors, walking aids and all, to save their most cherished possessions.

Jessie Samurai · 1,951 pts

This is probably not very helpful, but this logline makes me chuckle. Sounds like something I?d enjoy watching.