When a mutated pubic lice epidemic turns people into sex-crazed zombies, a prudish neuroscientist teams up with a loud prostitute to find and spread the cure.

Thank you all for pointing out the sexist aspect of this premise. I admit I was blind to it and very frivolous about the whole idea.

I see that making a prostitute have unprotected sex to spread the lice remedy is a perverse idea. The clich? of her characterisation only makes things worse. So does filing the story under "comedy."

Thank you all, again.

Never start a logline with When. Start with the protagonist, then provide the antagonist, conflict, & stakes. Avoid commas. 25-30 words max, the shorter the better.

All these elements are present, they're simply not in a compelling order...plus the offensive sexist crap is also a problem. Rephrase the elements after rethinking the characters (how does a neuroscientist cure an illness brought on by external parasite?) and it'll be stronger.

When the townsfolk turn into sex-crazed?zombies, a prudish neuroscientist creates a special yeast infection cure but must enlist the help of a loud prostitute to spread it.