Four friends, who are all about to go through some life changing experiences. The Brotherhood is about to become The Fatherhood. And it isn’t going to be easy

I've had a stab at a couple of revisions - would love to get your feedback...

Charles?needs to rebuild his relationship with his son. Michael needs to stop Zoe?from having their baby, whilst Andrew?needs to get Rachael?pregnant. And Jason?has a secret that is going to shock everyone. The brotherhood is about to become the Fatherhood. And its likely there will be some casualties along the way.

-OR-

Four friends navigate the intricacies of their relationships as one struggles with fertility and another is about to become a father through a one night stand. The brotherhood is about to become the Fatherhood, but its likely there will be some casualties along the way.

Thank you so much for your input - its been very helpful :)
Now I'm off to revise!!!

This describes a situation not a plot.

The next draft of the logline neds to answer the following:
Who needs to achieve what and why?

Hope this helps.

This subject is generally interesting, but not nearly descriptive enough for a logline, as you've described a general life experience.

For example, Wild Hogs is about 4 friends who have a middle-age crisis, well that's pretty ordinary. But the hook is that they all buy Harleys and go on a road trip, and get into it with a real biker gang. Regardless of how the movie turned out, I thought that was a great concept.

Yours does not have to be so high concept, but just telling us fatherhood is not easy is self-evident. You have to give us more.