vivek

0 points

1 points to Penpusher

4 loglines
7 reviews

After spending one boy?s student loans to get to a cross-country video game tournament, a ragtag group of teammates must win to get any chance of getting home.

November 23, 2012
A student fed up with life uses his student loans to go on a cross-country trip to a video game tournament, meeting his teammates along the way.

November 22, 2012
A meek sociologist researching on rape victimization falls for one of his subjects, only to find his involvement brings the attention of the police, and her assailant.

November 22, 2012
A meek sociologist researching on rape victims falls for one of his interviewees, only to find himself targeted by her assailant and the police.

November 21, 2012

on After spending one boy?s student loans to get to a cross-country video game tournament, a ragtag group of teammates must win to get any chance of getting home.

What you have is sort of the gist of it. As pertaining to the title, it is exactly what it is. I'm sure we've all spent our youth doing hedonistic pleasures instead of real work, and this is what the…
on After spending one boy?s student loans to get to a cross-country video game tournament, a ragtag group of teammates must win to get any chance of getting home.

The game would most likely be in the vein of shooters such as Call of Duty, Halo, or maybe sports games such as NHL or NBA. Something that is more in like with a 5-on-5 setting. Although the sole reason…
on After spending one boy?s student loans to get to a cross-country video game tournament, a ragtag group of teammates must win to get any chance of getting home.

Hey, I hope this is better than the last one. However I would like some help in adding something else. The idea really involves more coming-of-age elements then the ones shown above, is there any way to include some of…
on A BIOLOGICAL WEAPON MANUFACTURING COMPANY WHICH DISGUISE AS A PHARMACTICAL COMPANY TEST THEIR WORKS ON PEOPLE WITH DISASTEROUS EFFECT.

Good job keeping it to a sentence. It'd be good if you write what the "disastrous effect" is, and I like the idea, but it sounds a bit too plain. You should include a protagonist in your logline, like maybe…
on AFTER A LONG ABSENSE FROM THE TSREET ACOP GOES BACK TO THE STREET TO DISCOVER A NEWLY INVENTED DRUG THE CRAZY IMPULSE DRUG WHICH MAKE PEOPLE BEHAVE STRANGELY.THE STRANGE BEHAVIOR LATER BECOME A TREAT TO THE CUMMUNITY.

Definitely want to clean this up grammatically. Use spell-check and keep the logline down to a sentence! Also you should write what the drug does to people in the logline. That'll give it something that draws you in, and it…
on Peter leaves home to experience the life going in the street.After going through rough times,he realize that he does belong to the street.

A couple of pointers - It sounds a bit plain, as if it's been done before. You might want to add in something that gives it a HOOK, that makes it stand out - You should condense it into a…
on A meek sociologist researching on rape victims falls for one of his interviewees, only to find himself targeted by her assailant and the police.

Thanks for the notes guys, I'll make an alt. And yes, it is his involvement that brings attention to himself from the assailant and the police