uDawnWrite

0 points

1 points to Penpusher

5 loglines
40 reviews

Loglines

A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

April 6, 2014
A once academically gifted young man is intent on getting his life back on track. One night while driving home, he?s nearly killed in an accident and falls for the woman who saves him, but her lies and past horror may destroy everything.

October 15, 2013
A headstrong ex-con desiring a family, falls for the woman who saves his life, but her drug addiction and past horrors may destroy everything.

April 19, 2012
"SOMETIMES LOVE" Revised: A man with a checkered past determined to get his life back on track, falls for the woman who saves his life, but her drug addiction and past horrors may jeopardize everything he works for

April 17, 2012
"SOMETIMES LOVE" A man with little direction, falls in love with the woman who saves his life, but they have to overcome her drug addiction and past horrors in order to survive.

April 13, 2012

Recent reviews

on A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

Hi Jean-Marie, I hope I win or at least place too. As far as Celine and Angel, Celine is in her late 30's and Angel's father is mid-20's. I know age is just a number, but I decided not to…
on A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

Thanks again, Jean-Marie. I just complimented DPG with his logline before I read yours. I love it! However, I was wondering if I dropped sexually and just used abuse. It may be just me, but do you think people would…
on A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

Thanks DPG. The part when she decides to reunite her with her father just came to me. Celine's father saved her from the clutches of her mother, so it felt kind of right. Like they say, sometimes the story just…
on A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

Your loglines are very helpful. I haven't started working on it again yet, but I'm saving yours to get an idea. I'm trying to tighten my script one last time before end of weekend, and possibly get an analysis. But…
on A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

Thanks again, Jean Marie. Yes I have all the elements that make up the screenplay. The main part of my screenplay take place within a two-three day time period. From the time Angel runs away/is kidnapped, her father is made…
on A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

I have to agree with you, DPG that is the hook. Angel's mom turns a deaf ear to her, and Celine has been there herself so returning her is not an option. I am going to try my damnedest to…
on A vengeful man tricks his opponents daughter into taking 30 cursed coins that once belonged to Judas Iscariot hoping the same unfortunate events that plagued him, will now undermine his enemy; however, he didn?t bet on the girl?s ability to love despite the odds.

Although a long logline, it seems interesting and something I would watch for sure. Once again, Valentin, excellent rewrite.
on A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

Thanks again, Valentin. I can work with both of your log-lines, and hope to come up with something better than what I started out with.
on A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

@Valentin I have to give you credit, that logline is a whole lot better than mine, and it doesn't give the story away. I may have to hi-jack it from you and play around with it. Thank you. @Jean-Marie. I…
on A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

Thanks Valentin, I need all the help I can get. However, If I answer all those questions, it feels I would be giving away the whole movie. I can tell you this, she's grief-stricken because she lost her little girl…
on A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

True. I'm hoping to enter this screenplay into the Nicholl and Scriptapalooza screenplay competitions. The deadline is quickly approaching.
on A grief-stricken woman takes a cross-country road trip with a little girl she kidnapped to unite her with her father for the child's protection.

Thanks Jean-Marie and Dpg. My antagonist is a little bit of everyone so to speak. However, the Police is hot on their trail/tail. I'm always rewriting, so I will try and work in an antagonist, because I do agree with…
on During the old world, an aged magician and her two young proteges march into the depths of the underworld to make a deal with Death using the ultimate bargaining chip, an immortal man.

This sounds familiar to an episode of The Twilight Zone I watched, but it could still work though. Everything as been remade in some form, shape or fashion from what I hear.
on Office employees lives immensely change after they found out that their office place is use at night as a set for the famous porn office series and offered to do porn.

I'm assuming this is a dramatic comedy. I'm visualizing the employees leading a double life, their family and friends are not aware of. Or, perhaps instead of all the employees, I would choose one. Maybe an attractive nerd who had…
on 'Inspired by true events; When an underprivileged Pakistani boy is murdered by his richer and more influential counterpart, A rookie lawyer (his best friend) sets on a journey to seek justice against a boy seemingly above the law. As his efforts continue to fail, he must ask himself; is it justice he seeks or revenge?'

Should this be "man" instead of "boy"? It comes off as an adult movie with adult situations, but boy is throwing me a little. Other than that, very detailed logline.
on A once academically gifted young man is intent on getting his life back on track. One night while driving home, he?s nearly killed in an accident and falls for the woman who saves him, but her lies and past horror may destroy everything.

Thank you for the feedback, I'll continue to work on it. However, those questions are important, but that would be giving away the story in my opinion, but I'm still learning.
on A teenage prankster must convince his father (a cynical cop) that their elderly neighbour is a psycopath before she kills again.

I could see myself watching this. I'm assuming it has a bit of humor to it? I can picture this old lady on a walker, and she has everyone fooled except for the teenager, and of course no one believes…
on Accidentally trapped in a painting by the use of future technology, four disparate teens must band together to decode mysteries and outwit thieves to find the path home.

I love this logline. Without you stating, you can most definitely tell it's an adventure. I can picture this on the Big Screen, and doing good at that.
on When an idealistic new Prison Psychiatrist is threatened by the resident Crime Lord, her only hope is an aging Hit Man kept in solitary confinement so long he has lost his mind.

Great logline, but I do have a petty suggestion. How about adding a comma (,) after long, it threw me just a little.
on 21 Years and 3 murders later the nightmare ends, and the story of a battered young man can be told.

I think you should give a little more detail about the nightmare, as well as the battered young man. I'm no expert, but this logline leave little to the imagination. Is the murders dealing with revenge, or maybe something that…