rlakin

0 points

1 points to Penpusher

1 logline
4 reviews

When a film excursion in the woods turn deadly, Sally must learn to work with her classmates in order for her to survive the horrifying massacre

March 21, 2013

on Sarah Jane tells her story about how she over comes her past relationship and having to move on with life but is also struggling financially and having to look after her family and having to concentrate on her studies.

It seems like you're narrating the story, you've got to many 'and'. What is her goal? What should we be expecting? What does she need to do to accomplish her goal? You haven't established that in your log line.
on When writing teacher Karels students start failing, he must kick it into overdrive in order to get his students to pass before the end of the Semester.

nice log line!
on When a rogue cop is trying to keep his actions unnoticed, due to the killers that he cause.

It doesn't sound like it's finished? 'When a rogue cop is trying to keep his actions unnoticed, due to the killers that he cause...' what should we be expecting to paint the goal in our heads?
on When a film excursion in the woods turn deadly, Sally must learn to work with her classmates in order for her to survive the horrifying massacre

yeah, i was tossing between turn or turns.. lol, thanks