Phoenix

0 points

1 points to Penpusher

on A violent gangster turns vigilante when his young son is murdered, but when he executes an undercover cop, his operation backfires.

Maybe it's something to do with police force, law enforcement bodies, child trafficking ring, anti-trafficking NGO... out to punish the punisher.
on A violent gangster turns vigilante when his young son is murdered, but when he executes an undercover cop, his operation backfires.

I think the logline is well structured and it shows a lot of scope for the story, although I would possibly change the end section "his operation backfires." The first part really grabs my interest, then loses it with the…
on An Australian researcher, transforms her life, after meeting a Scottish SAS captain in London and making a commitment to meet him again in five years time, when he retires.

Holbrook99 thanks for the feedback.The appointment is the pivotal point for everything that happens; the obstacles and challenges part of the journey. cheers Phoenix
on An Australian researcher, transforms her life, after meeting a Scottish SAS captain in London and making a commitment to meet him again in five years time, when he retires.

Hi CatdFifth thanks for the feedback; the transformation is the 'journey'; the commitment is the pivotal point. I think the logline as it is now works and will take the advice of the commas. Cheers Phoenix