Peter Nguyen
Penpusher · 1 points
- 2 loglines
- 8 reviews
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I'm really confused here. What's a man-picker? So your MC has a machine that can make anyone fall in love with her? Or she uses the machine to pacifiy her feeling for a co-worker? Could you give us a short…
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Totally agree with Adam. That would make a very compelling premise.
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I do like the concept. 'Harlow Reeve, an orphaned teenager becomes aware of her teleportation abilities when she looks into her parents past' -Too much unnecessary information. Here's my take: When an orphaned teenager's teleportation ability gets caught on camera…
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The stakes are not high enough. Essentially, she's just going from A to B and a crazy dude trying to kill her in between. There has to be a better reason for her to go to the quarantine area. This…
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Maybe something along these lines. After an overseas business trip goes wrong, a struggling white collar worker finds himself wounded and stranded in an hostile African jungle and must get to the last train before the monsoon season hits.
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Two former lovers accidentally gets locked in the basement at a New Years Party and tries to get closure before one of them leaves the country ? forever! The best example I got unless there is actually a ticking time…
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If you?re going for a family comedy kind of thing then I would write something like this: When an elderly millionaire dies, his estranged(or *bickering*) children and their families are forced to take a road trip together across the country…
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I must say this is a really good premise! I feel the logline does the job in enticing the reader. I?ve read a lot of these loglines on this site and this is the only one that got me hooked.…