Ninann22

288 points

12 points to Logliner

7 loglines
14 reviews

Loglines

To validate her self-worth, a cunning catfisher help victims reclaim their digital lives by revealing the truth and exposing the perpetrators.

November 4, 2020
After receiving a private invite to compete,? five amateur cooks find themselves trapped by elite cannibals and must cook to win in order to survive.

April 6, 2020
Two bickering sisters give into a malicious doll entity in return for success and fortune, however failure to provide another victim leads to fatal consequences.

April 1, 2020
When her baby sister is taken by a dark spirit, a Chippawa girl must go on a journey to find Asibikaashi, spider women to help save her sister.

March 14, 2020
After inheriting their grandmothers precious doll collection, two bickering sisters visit the estate, but find themselves trapped and tormented by dolls manipulated by a demonic entity and must escape .

December 4, 2019
When the family restaurant is going under, a klutzy teenager accidentally creates a secret menu based on her cooking mishaps, and must keep up with the charade to help save the restaurant.

November 19, 2019
1

When two bickering sisters inherit their grandmother?s precious doll collection, they get more than they bargain for with a house horde of dolls, and a demonic entity threatening their life.

November 15, 2019

Recent reviews

on To validate her self-worth, a cunning catfisher help victims reclaim their digital lives by revealing the truth and exposing the perpetrators.

This helps a lot. Thank you for the feedback.
on To validate her self-worth, a cunning catfisher help victims reclaim their digital lives by revealing the truth and exposing the perpetrators.

I’ll keep those questions in mind and go from there. Thanks for the feedback.
on With a near-bankrupt Gotham City descending into chaos in the wake of an unjustified police shooting, Lieutenant James Gordon is approached on behalf of a group of Gotham’s bankers to instigate a police-lead coup of Mayor Garcia’s administration and install leadership more favourable to the banker’s wishes so as to restore order to the city.

Sorry, when I read the logline I was a bit confused. I got the first part, Gotham going bankrupt. Then bankers go to a lieutenant to stop a mayor? It’s a superhero movie, but where is the superhero? I read…
on Logline: A hardened cyber crimes analyst must shut down the source of a cursed smartphone app that seems to kill people who use it before the app strikes its next targets, her estranged family.

I like the premise. It reminds me of the Ring. Just needs a little polish. When you have “ that seems to” take that out. In my opinion apps can be used on many devices so “smartphone” may be remove.…
on Food is scarce, tragedies are many but the fight against human extinction becomes an arduous mission for mans earliest pioneers.

It’s too vague. It sounds interesting. I get its post apocalyptic, but it’s missing a few elements. who is your main protagonist? Is he/she a scientist or a survivalists that no one took seriously? This will be the main character…
on A young latina with basic english and a desire to experience independece must keep her horrible job in a American Resort and generate extra income to keep her word to return the huge invesment of trip to her parents when the season is low.

After reading the Logline it’s not completely clear. it’s missing conflict, antagonist force and the protagonist goal. Ask yourself this. What is the one thing that will drastically change the protagonist life? What is stopping her? The ultimate goal? It…
on An Indian woman returning to modern India during the heat of the mango season after almost a decade in the US is forced to choose between her lover and a traditional arranged marriage.

Hi, After reading the Logline I noticed it’s missing a few elements. I understand it’s a young Indian women returning home, then choosing between two men. It’s missing the conflict and antagonist force. What’s the thing jolts the protagonist life…
on James son of the king of the Tree-GLow Kingdom, is called to save the kingdom of a dragon. He has to defend it for his family and the kingdom fighting with the wisdom of the Esential Gems.

Hi, I like we’re you’re heading with the story. I get it’s a fantasy, and a kingdom that needs saved. However, there are some parts that are missing and hard to understand. After reading your summary it was a little…
on When a peaceful young man from the hard streets of gangland Los Angeles accidentally travels through time and witnesses his grandfather commit murder, he fights to change the past without becoming as violent as his neighborhood. Note: Series pilot for an hour-long drama.

There is a lot going on in this story from what you explained. It?s a little confusing. Adding time travel to a storyline can be risky, because it has been done so many times. In addition, it has to be…
on When his former lover is killed, an immortal cowboy rises from the dead teams up with a teenage girl to kill those are responsible.

This reminds me of Drive Angry and Deadpool. I would try to elevate the concept. I would remove rises from the dead. He is immortal why would he be dead? The character would need a flaw, so I would rethink…
on After a childhood of abuse, a young woman decides to write a memoir to help her heal.

I like the idea, but it?s missing the high stakes and goal. In every day life someone would write a memoir, or go to therapy. The high stakes will force the protagonist into action. Ask yourself what happens if she…
on After a lawyer accidentally sends a homosexual email to his client who then tries to have him disbarred, the lawyer must convince the authorities, in a politically correct way, that he is straight.

I think this idea is interesting but I'm a little confused on the concept. It just needs to be clear. Why would his client try to disbar him for being gay? That in turn would be a hate crime. Was…
on The scorned stepchild of a serial killer is pushed to the limit when his stepfather turns on the family and neighbors for what he perceives as their roles in the death of his biological son.

The logline needs to be clearer. I had to read it a few times. For example, is the stepchild the only one that knows he is a serial killer? Why would the stepfather think they are responsible? I usually cross…
on A memory damaged young man wakes impossibly from a long-term coma determined to find himself before it’s too late

I agree. It?s missing a hurdle or at at stakes to push the protagonist and the story forward.This helps me brainstorm more when doing my loglines. 1. Identify the protagonist 2. Inciting incident. What blows the characters life apart? 3.…