mmckean

0 points

1 points to Penpusher

12 loglines
40 reviews

Loglines

Desperate to win his ex-girlfriend back, an amateur writer experiments with mother nature to create a horror story that will make him famous. But when his experiment takes an unexpected turn for the worst, he must find a way out of a difficult predicament.

April 5, 2013
Mauled by a rabid dog, a truck driver stumbles down the road to a nearby trailer park and begs for help. But when the residents refuse to come to his aide his condition worsens and he becomes a ruthless killer.

April 3, 2013
With armageddon approaching, a museum security guard with a background in psychology must destroy the Egyptian god of chaos, who is disguising himself as various museum employees while committing a grisly string of murders.

March 16, 2013
After a grisly string of murders, a museum security guard suspects the recent acquisition of a mysterious Egyptian artifact.

March 13, 2013
Following the arrival of an ancient Egyptian artifact, museum employees begin to get murdered one by one. Now, a security guard who is dissatisfied with her job must solve the murders and catch the killer before she becomes the next victim.

March 11, 2013
When an ancient Egyptian artifact arrives at a local museum and staff members begin to get murdered one by one, a security guard who is dissatisfied with her job must solve the murders and catch the killer before she becomes the next victim.

March 11, 2013
While on his first assignment covering a string of alleged UFO abductions, a tabloid journalist stumbles on what could be the story that makes his career when he discovers Point of Interest 9 ? One of nine mysterious mansions that have sprang up across the globe over night.

February 18, 2013
An amateur journalist, a superstitious scientist, and a teen know-it-all, unravel the mysteries of a mansion in the woods which is being guarded by a secret government agency.

February 16, 2013
An investigative journalist discovers the strangest story of his career after he stumbles on a mysterious mansion in the woods, guarded by the military.

February 15, 2013
Tabloid journalist David Cross discovers a secret military base guarding a mysterious mansion — claimed to be associated with the disappearances of several community members, in the woods of a rural Indiana town and is forced to take refuge inside.

February 13, 2013
While investigating a missing persons case, tabloid journalist David Cross discovers a secret military base guarding a mysterious mansion in the woods of a rural Indiana town.

February 13, 2013
Logline:While investigating a series of disappearances in a rural Indiana town, tabloid journalist David Cross discovers a mysterious mansion in the woods, guarded by a division of the NSA known only as ?secret ops.? After being discovered at the military camp, he meets secret ops scientist and fan, Leonardo Valdez who helps him escape, but there is only one place to go, and after entering the mansion?.there?s no way back.

February 13, 2013

Recent reviews

on When a space colony team land on a habitable planet, they discover a buried alien race and an object that threatens the fate of their lives – and the earth.

Cool. Sounds like a film that I would like to see. The only critique I could think of is to possibly mention something about the protagonist(s).
on When a government Space station is taken over by a terrorist organisation, its paper pushing engineer must escape to help protect both his wife and national security

Sounds like a pretty interesting idea. I find it odd that an engineer could be a paper pusher though. When I think of engineer I think of someone doing the work and fixing and designing machinery. I think the part…
on Mauled by a rabid dog, a truck driver stumbles down the road to a nearby trailer park and begs for help. But when the residents refuse to come to his aide his condition worsens and he becomes a ruthless killer.

Hey Richiev and Kriss, Thanks for the suggestions. I wasn?t actually intending to tell the story from the killer?s POV so your comments have proved helpful in making me think of another way to do this logline. Perhaps, something along…
on A contestant on the Bachelor-esque show "Token of Love" hatches a plot to win the secret million dollar prize with the help of the show's cynical host.

A lot of potential in this idea. I think it would be more interesting if the host tried to help them win though instead of stealing, which is what it sounds like they are planning.
on After a troubled teen girl is caught vandalizing state property, she is ordered to spend 6 months in juvenile detention center; where she falls in love with the, married, faculty art teacher.

Intriguing start, but I agree with the others. We need to have some sort of conflict.
on When an acerbic alcoholic finds himself penniless and alone he has no choice but to crash his family?s holiday. Years of alienating them makes for a stiff challenge, but eventually he subtly helps them heal.

I agree with the other comments here, but I would also take out acerbic. When writing a log line you want to use words that are so common people have no trouble knowing their meaning because these little snippets are…
on A former gang member, now an undercover cop, travels through a dangerous inner-city labyrinth to kill a notorious gang leader. Boyz n the Hood meets Apocalypse Now.

Seems like it needs more. What makes this story unique? What makes it stand out from every other crime drama with gang members turned cops? A former gang member chasing a gang leader is interesting but it needs to be…
on With armageddon approaching, a museum security guard with a background in psychology must destroy the Egyptian god of chaos, who is disguising himself as various museum employees while committing a grisly string of murders.

Here is another version: "With armageddon approaching, a security guard with a background in forensic psychology must destroy the egyptian god of chaos, who is brutally murdering people at a local museum."
on When a biochemical corporation manufactures implants that help millions live longer, they go from pariah to savior. But a longstanding critic remains unconvinced, and must battle the corporation and its backers to uncover the shocking secret behind the technology.

This sounds really good. It needs to have a little more conflict though. What stands in his way? Just investigating a biochemical company is interesting but you have to make it interesting enough for people to pay money to see…
on With armageddon approaching, a museum security guard with a background in psychology must destroy the Egyptian god of chaos, who is disguising himself as various museum employees while committing a grisly string of murders.

Thanks to everyone for the help so far :)
on A pig farmers daughter trapped on an island must protect her newborn baby from a bloodthirsty pig born with human hands.

Yes, I would say B movie. The log line is pretty well-written but honestly I don't think there would be a market for this :/ Have you already written the script?
on After the gruesome murder of his wife, a man takes the only logical choice he has; become the monster that destroyed his life. wearing the faces of his victims, the town goes into a frenzy to figure out who is the man behind the masks.

I like the idea of him wearing the faces of his victims. It reminds me a little of my story, but I would take out the logical choice part. A man becoming a monster after his wife is murdered isn't…
on In a distant future ravaged by war, a secret society stages a fake alien invasion in order to unite the world's warring factions.

I do see where timmyelliot is coming from though. Maybe a few more little details about the pro tag would make it even better. But the premise it there and I like it
on In a distant future ravaged by war, a secret society stages a fake alien invasion in order to unite the world's warring factions.

Sounds really cool. Leave it like it is and submit it to a few production places in the form of a query letter :)
on To overcome her performance anxiety, a renowned classical pianist pursues an anonymous affair with a man who is sharply skilled at erotic knife-play.

I love the word choice. "sharply skilled at erotic knife-play" is a witty pun. Not sure I understand why a pianist would have an affair with someone just to ease her performance anxiety. Unless the performance anxiety is performance in…
on After waking up human, the former Angel of Darkness recruits a supernatural team to steal Pandora's Box from Lucifer.

There is too much going on in the log line. My main question is what kind of redemption this former angel of darkness is after. Is he stealing Pandora's box thinking he will somehow get into heaven? Is he stealing…
on When his pregnant wife is murdered, a grieving husband must kill the man responsible before joining her in the afterlife.

This sounds like an interesting idea but something is definitely missing here. Im re-reading it to try and figure out what it is.... I guess it just sounds a bit cheesy.... Ok, here is the thing I've noticed with it:…
on When Mouse, the smartest girl in school, and social outcast falls for the head cheerleader, Kat Sanders; She will have to pull every trick in the book to win her, the only trouble, Kat doesn't even know mouse exists… and likes boys.

I think this story has potential. Keep working on the log line and you may have a very marketable movie to pitch :)
on Three philanthropic con-men navigate the dating world.

Philanthropic con men? This sounds like a hard story to write, if you haven't done so already. Need to state what they are trying to get -- their end goal. Good luck :)
on While on his first assignment covering a string of alleged UFO abductions, a tabloid journalist stumbles on what could be the story that makes his career when he discovers Point of Interest 9 ? One of nine mysterious mansions that have sprang up across the globe over night.

Wow, Richiev, that is an amazing idea! I hope you don't mind if I steal that because I might just do some filling in since I think that is exactly what it needs :)