kid_gokuu

Penpusher · 106 points

194 points to Logliner

2 loglines
4 reviews

Rookie detective, Sam Hernandez, is framed by an elusive serial killer when his girlfriend is killed. With the evidence stacked against him, he must solve a case where no two murders are the same and clear his name.

July 1, 2020
New Update feedback is much appreciated: A yakuza assassin defects after accepting a mission to escort a mysterious young girl. Uncovering her past, his mission becomes a desperate plight to save her.

May 31, 2019

on When her prestigious legal firm goes under for corruption, a successful lawyer finds herself reliving her troubled childhood when she reluctantly accepts a job as legal aid family court lawyer.

I think you should try to add stakes to the struggle the protagonist takes on. In its current state, it feels as if the protagonist is reacting to the situation she finds herself in by reliving this trauma. If you…
on Brought together by chance an unwonted romance blooms between an affluent twenty-something and a down on his luck mendicant.

There doesn't seem to be anything for these characters to gain other than each other. If that is true, the movie wouldn't have any legs to stand on. If you add some kind of struggle or force or goal that…
on The Balcony-Scaler, The Train-Feeder, The Skin-Scratcher, and The Pornographic-Men. All serial killers. Their crimes committed the same decade, inside the same city where detectives will lose hope in search of justice.

I like the overall idea, even without a clear protagonist the logline seems to hold its own. I think that if you're gonna go down the route of each detective taking on a different serial killer, the could be a…
on A group of subjects in a sleep experiment are stalked by multidimensional entities awakened to rip their spirits apart.

The initial plot is very interesting. I think it would be very beneficial to add a protagonist to this situation and also giving that protagonist some sort of motivation in order to create a struggle between them and the multidimensional…

Rookie detective, Sam Hernandez, is framed by an elusive serial killer when his girlfriend is killed. With the evidence stacked against him, he must solve a case where no two murders are the same and clear his name.

New Update feedback is much appreciated: A yakuza assassin defects after accepting a mission to escort a mysterious young girl. Uncovering her past, his mission becomes a desperate plight to save her.