GriffUK

Thanks Karel, great feedback that will be put to good use. Revision coming soon.

Thanks to both of you for the feedback, I'll be back with a revision soon.

Originally it was intended as a discussion between religion and morality, the latter being being built on the former, but one being bent to an organisation's vision and the other interpreted on a personal level. If a devout priest discovered…

The anti-virus is administered via Communion. Some people would naturally be immune and, if not devout, be hunted down and killed to allow no accidental access to a serum.

Neat one liner but contains too many elements. Serial killer's target, private investigator, catch the killer, regain self confidence. Which one is the important one? In which order do they go? Two goals- catch the killer and regain self confidence,…

First off, I take issue with Screenwriters Anonymous suggesting 40 is over the hill! ;-) On a more serious note, I see a conundrum here. If he has secret lives then presumably his wife wouldn't know the people involved or,…

To me it sounds like a public version of The Adjustment Bureau. That's not to say it wouldn't work but, as has been said before, the logline isn't giving us much beyond the idea. "On deciding to reset his life,…

Intriguing stuff. I'm not sure the overcoming fear bit is actually necessary though, it's a bit vague to me. Why not call her a 'fearful' woman and cover her naiivit? with that as well? Just from this one liner though,…

Sounds like an epic battle indeed, but there seem to be too many elements and as such I can't decide which is the most important. How about missing out the bit about a time traveller, interesting as it is, to…