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An extroverted overweight attorney-turned-actress falls in love with an introverted younger personal trainer and embarks on a life-changing romance. Even though they both know from the beginning that they want different things in life and their time together is limited, they risk their hearts to learn from each other until it is time to say goodbye.
All your comments have been so helpful, thank you so much. I very much agree with TOAST- this story is the struggle between settling for something that is good, even great and letting go to really reach for something that…
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A schoolboy with psychic abilities runs the risk of putting his relationships and loved-ones in danger when he starts making deals with the Devil
I agree with either making the risk specific or taking that phrase out altogether. I think it works just as well by simply saying he puts his loved ones in danger by making deals with the Devil.
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It's February 1930, just months after Black Tuesday. In light of their financial woes, a small-town mortician and his arrogant wife start murdering the rich to keep their beloved funeral home afloat.
Great premise! I think you can consolidate this into one line to make it really punch. For instance, saying that they need to keep their funeral home afloat implies that they have financial woes so that part seems redundant. I…
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An extroverted overweight attorney-turned-actress falls in love with an introverted younger personal trainer and embarks on a life-changing romance. Even though they both know from the beginning that they want different things in life and their time together is limited, they risk their hearts to learn from each other until it is time to say goodbye.
Thank you so much for your comments. I am going to edit the logline to make the characters more specific. As to drama, neither want "'til death do us part" but fall so deeply in love the idea of parting…
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After an explosion, a marine wakes up in a place with other people from different times, his mission is to lead the group to recover artifacts spread in different times in history and avoid an alien invasion in the future.
Great description, I can really see it. To make it easier to read, I would change it to this: "A marine wakes up after an explosion with people from other times. He leads the group to recover artifacts from different…
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When lonely long-haul truck driver D Forde falls in love online with a city writer and single mother, he must cross more than the Nullarbor to overcome his fear of abandonment and win her heart.
Great logline! For me, I think having "D Forde" in it is unncessary and clutters it a bit. Also, not sure what Nullarbor is so may want to substitute a more generic word for that one.
