Cajsa

Penpusher · 87 points

213 points to Logliner

3 loglines
6 reviews

1

When a group of foster kids accidentally summon a demon, the friendly, helpful ghost who already haunted their foster home must drive out the demon to save both himself and the kids, without exorcising himself.

September 7, 2021
When a self-absorbed race car is arrested for literally tearing up the road going through a small, deserted town, he must restore the road in order to be released in time for the most important race of his life.

September 7, 2021
When an African-American photographer gets trapped by his white girlfriend?s family who intent to steel his body he must break free in order to stop the family?s body-snatching business.

September 11, 2018

on When a recluse with a fear of animals stumble over a dog fighting ring in the woods, they have to overcome their fear of both animal and human interaction so they can team up with an animal rights activist to save the dogs.

Like it! You give a really good sense of the main character. I'm wondering if there might be a better main action then "Overcome their fear" and "Team up" What are the character actually DOING. Are they demonstrating and raise…
on When a spell is set upon the land a young warrior must fight for her independence.

You have all the components which is great! But the logline is a bit vauge and would benefit from some clarity. What kind of spell is it? Who cast it and why? Why must the young warrior fight for her…
on When giant, man-eating plants land on the moon, a pacifist gardener must protect his moon colony.

Love the idea! By adding "pacifist" you manages do add both an obstacle to the main character and give a hint of the theme. A question when pops to mind is how the gardener is going to protect the colony,…
on A linguist helps government to decipher an alien communication to understand their mysterious and globally alarming presence on earth.

Great job! I kind of miss the major event in the beginning of the logline instead of at the end. But it works! Also, try adding the stakes into logline, the clock ticking and/or the consequence of what happens if…
on When a petty criminal encounters a “nightcrawler”, he will stop at nothing to become the most successful nightcrawler himself. – NIGHTCRAWLER

Before I saw Nightcrawler I hadn?t heard the term before and I don?t think it?s a term that everybody knows. So maybe clarify a little what a Nightcrawler is. How will he stop at nothing? Try maybe describe a little…
on When a hurricane kills a middle-aged man and his nephew, the boy?s grieving father must manage his wife?s deteriorating mental health and his company?s spiralling recession.

Try making the goal more visual. The goal ?must manage his wife?s deteriorating mental health and his company?s spiralling recession? is not something you can clearly see. How does he manage his wife?s deteriorating mental health and when has he…