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After treating a difficult and eccentric patient a brilliant but overwhelmed doctor questions her sanity after encountering bizarre visions.
Thanks.
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A mystically unnoticeable "Sea cliff" is the catalyst for the place of change. Story one is about an old lady, in all her alternative new age approach, change and moves on from grieving of her husband's death, before spreading his ashes into the ocean from the sea cliff. Story two is about an OCD, analytical & rigid couple, sick of their lifestyle, breaks their habits as for once they decide to go someplace chaotic(sea cliff), as they become intimate in there, later on, the once considered sterile couple are happy about becoming parents.
This is not a logline- narrow it down to A protagonist who struggles against odds (people/place/thing) in pursuit of his goal. Cut out the rest- a logline has one purpose: to get someone interested enough to want to read your…
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As a fascist state that controls the GMO tech that feeds the population seeks to secure its hold on power, the poorer farmers and climate refugees in the south embark on a secret mission to get back natural seeds from a heavily fortified island.
I would focus on a specific character ( a farmer perhaps) who struggles against (The State is a little vague) a specific antagonist to obtain a specific goal.
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When a soldier returns from an overseas deployment and finds that the family home has completely vanished, he sets out to find his home and to discover who he really is.
R Cheers! Yes, I agree with being lean with the words. Great job... AM
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A hedonistic med student unwillingly becomes a single father, but when he discovers the newborn is not even biologically his, he?s faced with a difficult decision- dad or doctor?
Cool question. He is unwilling b/c he is a ladies man and is disconnected from the mom...
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When a wealthy benefactor gets insulted by a homophobic employee, she threatens to close down a community-center unless the culprit agrees to coach her son's team of misfits- a gay soccer team.
R Actually I like this suggestion especially as the culprit is the protagonist of the (soon to be written) script. Cheers
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When a wealthy benefactor gets insulted by a homophobic employee, she threatens to close down a community-center unless the culprit agrees to coach her son's team of misfits- a gay soccer team.
NAW Thanks for questions. Yes- gay only teams and leagues exist... Protagonist is the homophobe (who obviously will arc into a good and all accepting guy). Was thinking of having him be an excellent soccer coach/ or excellent coach from…
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When a wealthy benefactor gets insulted by a homophobic employee, she threatens to close down a community-center unless the culprit agrees to coach her son's team of misfits- a gay soccer team.
The culprit
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The new kid in town is eager to impress the two friends she just made, and tells them wild tales of her four guardians when the latter were hell-raising young women: Stories of murder, bank robberies, and other mayhem.
I think your logline could be improved if you added "stakes" to the storytelling; example "When a new kid in town reels off facinating tales about her guradians, the impressionable audience report her to the authorities." Or something along that…
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1999. Reception lounges are dying. After six years banishment, a CBD event manager reluctantly returns to work in The Palace, his old man?s Greek reception lounge in the suburbs, on their biggest wedding ever, and he will save his family from financial ruin and shame? If his father will just let him.
1st - its very long. 2nd- it is not cathcy 3rd - to vague (what is a CBD?) Stick w/ the formula" a reluctant events manager is forced to work at his dad's business in order to save up money…
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When a young farm boy is thrust into the horrors of war, he must use his survival skills in order to help proect the first journalist reporting at the Crimean War.
DPG- Cheers. Soem good thoughts to ponder..
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An aging hitman goes up against his boss over a single night in order to protect his family.
I like that the logline is short and snappy but I need a reason in it for me to care about reading the script..
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A courageous teenager vehemently exposes her extremist step father in order to pursue an education with the help of a contemporary female saint and together they overthrow the radical mosque.
Nadia Good luck with an ambitious script! Try getting some feedback from peers on sites such as WRITE TO REEL or TALENTVILLE. Are you from London? I'm a Brummy... Cheers, Alex M
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A hedonistic med student unwillingly becomes a single father and must risk sacrificing his career in order to support a newborn that, as it turns out, is not even biologically his.
Thanks Heather. Can't use doctor - he' still in med school and about to enter a residency program (of course you wouldn't have known this not havong seen the script-LOL). He is an ALL PLEASURE seeking bad boy (at the…
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A frustrated team rider takes skateboarding distributor hostage , demanding a better deal , forced to fight he must evade capture escaping police.
Sure. Its starts w/ A hedonistic med student... Cheers
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A frustrated team rider takes skateboarding distributor hostage , demanding a better deal , forced to fight he must evade capture escaping police.
Hey, Alex. Alex m here. I'm new at this but I thinbk you need to revisit your log line. Should it read: A frustrated team rider takes-A- skateboarding distributor hostage , demanding a better deal , forced to fight he…
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When a timid janitor?s fiance is kidnapped by a fire demon, he must locate a mythical artifact and uncover its power before the devil kills his lover and unborn child
I would capatilize Devil. Otherwise you have nailed (what I believe log lines need) the Character/Conflict/Stakes info needed to entice a reader/producer to pick up your spec. Well done.