When a flight attendant smuggles on a chainsaw and starts butchering passengers mid-flight, an aerophobe must bottle his panic to take down the killer and save his family on board.
Categories: Action, Horror, Short Film
Categories: Action, Horror, Short Film
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Strengths Filmable incident Stakes and urgency Specificity Causality and coherence
Needs work Well-defined POV
I suggest refocusing the logline on the story hook, the grab. Which, IMHO, is not one passenger's flight phobia. What grabs my attention, what stokes my imagination and curiosity is the flight attendant.
What's her (his?) backstory? What motivates her (him?) to plan and execute the massacre? And surely the setup scenes showing how the attendant contrives to smuggle the chainsaw aboard is vastly more interesting to watch than a passenger getting on board despite his flight phobia.
FWIW
Strengths Well-defined POV Clear, difficult goal Active protagonist Filmable incident Stakes and urgency Specificity Causality and coherence Action, not decision Concision No hedging
Well put together. Sounds like fun. Not sure how long it'd last as a feature given the situation but I'd be intrigued to read/watch it.