A cold-hearted journalist records a documentary about a very talented e-sport player until she discovers the hardness of being born unlucky.

Andres_

Suggest it's better if she does a documentary (however set up) dual stories lines contrasting the winner AND the loser.

Whatever, whose story is it: the video journalist, the jock who is a winner, or the nobody who is a loser?

Who owns the character arc?

What are the stakes for the journalist? What does she stand to gain or lose with her documentary?

I understand the lack of action and the missing event. Actually I think I tried to sum up in excess and the point was missed. The point you make about not knowing what an e-sport player is does not really affect the logline as I see it.

An extended logline will be: "A cold-hearted journalist records a documentary about a very talented esports player until she meets her neighbor, a lowly man, and her documentary pivots to focus on reflecting the harshness of being born unlucky"

Let me know your opinion, thanks in advance :)

I understand the lack of action, actually I think I tried to sum up in excess and the point was missed.

A reviewed logline will be: "A cold-hearted journalist records a documentary about a very talented esports player until she meets her neighbor, a lowly man, and her documentary focuses on reflecting the harshness of being born unlucky"

Let me know your opinion, thanks in advance :)