Short film logline 3. Part of a trilogy of shorts focused on female leads.
mobiuswestPenpusher
When her daughter is sent to hospital after being attacked, a mother tries to find the assailants regardless of the consequences.
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I know it’s a short film, but I feel like there could be a little more detail here. It feels a little short for a logline, which is unusual, people are usually struggling to make them shorter!
I think descriptive words of the characters would be good, is the mother normally mousy and quiet and this is a departure for her or is she a badass tough lady? Who attacks the daughter? Drug dealers? A teenage rapist? Gang members? The more angry your audience the more they will be on board with your main character tracking them down.
Again, it’s very clear and I wouldn’t change the structure, I would just add more description.
A grieving mother(spy) goes all in after her innocent daughter is attacked for not wanting to join a local’s gang, and this sends her on a John Wick, and Nobody Rampage until her job is complete.
This is what I can glean:
“A mother seeks revenge against the assailants who hospitalized her daughter”
As sloanpeterson mentioned, the logline can use some color.
Another angle: “regardless of the consequences” = hellbent.