Terminal Condition (redux!)
The attempted assassination of a bright young politician sends his devoted wife down a reckless path toward the one man who can save him ? but whose unethical treatment leaves the patient with a murderous appetite.
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The first line is fine to grab attention. Get rid of the rest of it,’ but whose unethical treatment leaves the patient with a murderous appetite’.
“Murderous appetite” — what does that mean? The ‘cure’ leaves patients with an insatiable appetite for killing people? Turns them into cannibals? This phrase (still) confuses and mystifies rather than hooks my interest.
This version of the logline reflects the further development of the main characters, and IMO) is different enough from the original to warrant reposting. If it’s not, I apologize in advance. As always, your feedback is much appreciated.