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After their identities are stolen, a young couple need to find their enemies, fast.
Why must they discover who stole their identities? The answer is; identity fraud, best you describe that as the inciting incident, not the house swap. After their identities were stolen, a couple must... Inciting incident aside, you don't describe their goal, which makes the plot vague. If their ideRead more
Why must they discover who stole their identities? The answer is; identity fraud, best you describe that as the inciting incident, not the house swap.
After their identities were stolen, a couple must…
Inciting incident aside, you don’t describe their goal, which makes the plot vague. If their identities were stolen their goal is to stop the thieves not just find out who they are, this may seem implicit, but in loglines you have to describe the goal and how they plan on achieving it.
See lessWhen a haunted family discovers that the ghosthunters they hired are criminals who capture then use ghosts for crime, the family must team up with the ghosts to take down the frauds.
Obviously, the ghosts would come off as unwanted at first but later be represented as the emotional-garnering people who the MC realizes are now worth saving from the antagonists. This is classic Spielberg misdirection here. And that's also where the character arc would come from. Pretty sure we areRead more
Obviously, the ghosts would come off as unwanted at first but later be represented as the emotional-garnering people who the MC realizes are now worth saving from the antagonists. This is classic Spielberg misdirection here. And that’s also where the character arc would come from.
Pretty sure we aren’t talking about the pest removal of bugs here. 😮
See lessWhen a hang slip breaks a house apart shortly after a frustrated mum and wife just told her workaholic husband that she wants a divorce, the whole family has to work together for the last time and survive, by helping each other on the safe side of the house, while its pieces are drifting away from minute to minute and might fall from the mountain soon.
Minutes after telling her husband she wants a divorce their house is caught in a landslide. She must work with her family to save each other before the house collapses. Still too wordy. People would help perfect strangers escape. You may want to think of something that puts more pressure on them andRead more
Minutes after telling her husband she wants a divorce their house is caught in a landslide. She must work with her family to save each other before the house collapses.
Still too wordy.
People would help perfect strangers escape. You may want to think of something that puts more pressure on them and would allow to decide not to help.
See less