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  1. Posted: March 11, 2018In: Thriller

    A mother finds solace in her dead kid’s unfinished comic book, only to discover it “leading” to his possible murder.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 12, 2018 at 1:13 am

    When a grieving mother discovers clues to her teenager's murder in his unfinished graphic novel, she....Well, what does she do about the discovery?? ?The setup is a good one, but the logline needs a follow through of the action that results from the discovery.

    When a grieving mother discovers clues to her teenager’s murder in his unfinished graphic novel, she….

    Well, what does she do about the discovery?? ?The setup is a good one, but the logline needs a follow through of the action that results from the discovery.

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  2. Posted: March 10, 2018In: Thriller

    After a well planned ambush on an armored truck carrying arms, a cop must find the people behind it before the weapons hit the streets.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on March 11, 2018 at 12:50 pm

    Agreed with the above - this reads like a standard police procedural episode. Ultimately, it's about a guy doing his job but what you need is for it to be about a motivated guy doing something out of the ordinary. Could his brother or sister be involved in a gang and he knows that the weapons were tRead more

    Agreed with the above – this reads like a standard police procedural episode. Ultimately, it’s about a guy doing his job but what you need is for it to be about a motivated guy doing something out of the ordinary. Could his brother or sister be involved in a gang and he knows that the weapons were taken by a rival gang?

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  3. Posted: March 4, 2018In: Thriller

    When an armed soldier takes a junior class hostage, two rookie teachers are forced to defend their class.

    savinh0 Samurai
    Added an answer on March 6, 2018 at 7:56 am

    I like the logline and the story seems to be not only fresh, but also very interesting. I would just add another element at the end of your logline. Maybe urgency gives your concept another boost.

    I like the logline and the story seems to be not only fresh, but also very interesting.
    I would just add another element at the end of your logline.
    Maybe urgency gives your concept another boost.

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