1. Posted: April 7, 2018In:

    When a grieving teacher is blackmailed over the death of his brother, he decides to silence the blackmailer and frame his widow?s new lover for the murder.

    obie1jonobi Logliner

    I like this. It starts strong. It ends strong. There?s a lot of intrigue here, and as I reread it, I can?t help but be slightly confused. What drives a character to escalate so quickly from being blackmailed to murdering and framing the murder on someone else? I wonder if you could tie the characterRead more

    I like this. It starts strong. It ends strong. There?s a lot of intrigue here, and as I reread it, I can?t help but be slightly confused. What drives a character to escalate so quickly from being blackmailed to murdering and framing the murder on someone else? I wonder if you could tie the characters closer together in the story.

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  2. Posted: April 7, 2018In:

    When a grieving Matt returns back from his travels, he must find a way to shut up the blackmailer that is threatening to reveal his shocking secret to the love of his life; his dead brothers widow.

    variable Uberwriter

    When audience is quite open to his marrying the widow (since I am) you risk writing an antagonist instead with his current goal (to find a way to silence the blackmailer....why not go to the cops?)It would be a shocking secret if he had a hand in his brother's death (then again, not what a protagoniRead more

    When audience is quite open to his marrying the widow (since I am) you risk writing an antagonist instead with his current goal (to find a way to silence the blackmailer….why not go to the cops?)

    It would be a shocking secret if he had a hand in his brother’s death (then again, not what a protagonist would do)

    Drop the name for word economy.

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  3. Posted: April 5, 2018In:

    A pacifistic NYPD cadet and a loner detective investigate the source of a new street drug, leading them to a notorious dealer; but they’re just a pawn, and someone much more powerful runs the operation.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    You need to give the reader more details than are currently in the logline. What makes this duo's mission interesting? What is the major obstacle standing in their way? Right now this concept lacks unique elements needed to separate it from most police procedural fare on TV.

    You need to give the reader more details than are currently in the logline. What makes this duo’s mission interesting? What is the major obstacle standing in their way? Right now this concept lacks unique elements needed to separate it from most police procedural fare on TV.

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