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A paraplegic woman, with no memory what happened, investigates her own past and collides with a nocturnal vigilante who may hold the answers.
Agree with Nir Shelter.? A logline is a blatant sales pitch,? not a teaser,; it's no place to hide or merely imply a key story element.? Logline readers? are industry deal makers who want to know in no uncertain terms what the story is about. Which is another way of saying they want to know exactlyRead more
Agree with Nir Shelter.? A logline is a blatant sales pitch,? not a teaser,; it’s no place to hide or merely imply a key story element.? Logline readers? are industry deal makers who want to know in no uncertain terms what the story is about. Which is another way of saying they want to know exactly what objective goal the protagonist is pursuing.
What is her objective goal in searching her past?? What is the dramatic problem she MUST solve?
See lessAs a giant asteroid hurtles toward Earth, an embittered doomsday prepper must choose whether to open up his shelter to his runaway ex-wife and her crazy cult friends or risk spending eternity alone.
>>>after giving shelter to his runaway wifeOh, well,? that casts? loglining the plot in a whole new light.? It's need-to-know info.? The first version gives the impression that she's on the outside with the cultists trying to get it in. ("...whether to open up his shelter to his runaway ex-Read more
>>>after giving shelter to his runaway wife
Oh, well,? that casts? loglining the plot in a whole new light.? It’s need-to-know info.? The first version gives the impression that she’s on the outside with the cultists trying to get it in. (“…whether to open up his shelter to his runaway ex-wife”)
>>?not realizing she?s a double agent
Setting up the expectation of a? midpoint reveal/reversal/plot twist.? Normally that is not included in a logline.? For the sake of brevity.? In this instance, adding that reversal/twist extends the logline length from 27 words to 34 — which is tolerable.? And it may work as? a story hook –? an element that makes industry folk want to read the script to see how it plays out.
fwiw
See lessA man having an affair takes his mistress out to the woods when they witness two thugs dumping a body the lake.
When a man and his mistress on a week-end tryst witness two thugs dumping a body, they must outrun and outsmart deadly pursuants through a mountainous forest.
When a man and his mistress on a week-end tryst witness two thugs dumping a body, they must outrun and outsmart deadly pursuants through a mountainous forest.
See less