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When? a young? detective gets challenged by a killer, he will have to ask help to his wise mentor? with whom he had? fought hard.
INTENTION: must find a killer? OBSTACLE: his pride?? You need to push in on both of these. My notes: 1. Why is it so important he find this killer? (I know he?s probably on a rampage or whatever.) Perhaps he?s steadily targeting detective?s family or something? Detective challenged by killer is alsoRead more
INTENTION: must find a killer?
OBSTACLE: his pride??
You need to push in on both of these.
My notes:
1. Why is it so important he find this killer? (I know he?s probably on a rampage or whatever.) Perhaps he?s steadily targeting detective?s family or something? Detective challenged by killer is also quite cliche and neutral. You?ve gotta spin that and introduce something new to that idea.
2. The obstacle isn?t that strong just yet. Or perhaps not specific enough. Why is it so hard to ask for help? Maybe the wise mentor is a former detective turned killer/convict. (Hmm – too Silence of the Lambs, but you get what I?m saying.)
3. Give this detective a real Sophie?s choice. A dilemma. I mean – lives are on the line. This guy would ask for help regardless of past history/pride, etc.
Maybe mentor killed his family or something?
Anyways – hope you get something from this. Good luck!
See lessA serial killer is driven by the voice of God to kill five killers ? in order to keep the woman he?s falling in love with, a Christian, who is giving him a conscience.
The goals and obstacles don?t line up perfectly so it feels a little disjointed. He is killing killers because god says if he does a woman will live him? Does she already love him? If yes, then what would change that.? If she was a good woman, him just killing would end it. If he had no conscience wRead more
The goals and obstacles don?t line up perfectly so it feels a little disjointed.
He is killing killers because god says if he does a woman will live him? Does she already love him? If yes, then what would change that.?
If she was a good woman, him just killing would end it. If he had no conscience why would she be in love with him? I think that detail brings in confusion rather than a good question.
?Believing God told him to kill 5 people to retain the love of his devout wife. A man struggles with killing and keeping it secret from his confidant to avoid disappointing her?.
This is not your story. But the goal and obstacles are more directly aligned.
See less“A guilt-ridden hunter must protect his family from a murderous gang when he accidentally kills their leader’s daughter.”
My try:After accidentally killing a drug lord's daughter, a guilt-ridden hunter must protect his family from the gangster's rage.Start with the inciting event and with the goal.The biggest problem with this logline is that there's no definitive end to the story.? As it's not clear what protecting thRead more
My try:
After accidentally killing a drug lord’s daughter, a guilt-ridden hunter must protect his family from the gangster’s rage.
Start with the inciting event and with the goal.
The biggest problem with this logline is that there’s no definitive end to the story.? As it’s not clear what protecting the family entails, we don’t understand what the action is and how long it goes for. For a week, a month, a year? And how does he protect them? Fending off assassination attempts, killing the gangster?
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