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After losing her best friend in an abandoned building, a girl will have to find a way out before an old man forces her to face her greatest fear.
Consider the following to strengthen your logline: 1. Why were they in this build? E.g., Urban explorers shooting their latest abandoned vid. 2. What’s the psychology of your protag? E.g., Claustrophobic, afraid of the dark, reckless? 3. Who is this old man? A “get off of my lawn” derelict? 4. WhatRead more
Consider the following to strengthen your logline:
1. Why were they in this build? E.g., Urban explorers shooting their latest abandoned vid.
2. What’s the psychology of your protag? E.g., Claustrophobic, afraid of the dark, reckless?
3. Who is this old man? A “get off of my lawn” derelict?
4. What does “forces her to face her greatest fear” look like?
Take care.
See lessWhen a recently-widowed woman discovers that she has been declared deceased for the past three years, she must weave her way through a web of corruption, propaganda, and secrets in order to reclaim her life.
Thoughts: 1. Is your protag prominent? This will help anchor “corruption, propaganda, and secrets.” 2. Your hook “discovered declared dead” is good, but three years old, which begs the question “why now?” In this day and age, it would only take months before her bank card, etc. to be blocked. ExamplRead more
Thoughts:
1. Is your protag prominent? This will help anchor “corruption, propaganda, and secrets.”
2. Your hook “discovered declared dead” is good, but three years old, which begs the question “why now?” In this day and age, it would only take months before her bank card, etc. to be blocked.
Example:
“A newly widowed mayoress must weave her way through a web of corruption, deceit, and being inexplicably declared dead in order to reclaim her life.
Hope you find this constructive, make this yours – keep going!
See lessWhen former burglar Max’ girlfriend gets pregnant, Max says yes to one last job in order to give his son a rich life. But surprised by the pregnant resident Anna whose water has just broken, Max finds out that money doesn’t always lead to a happy life.
"When he is surprised by a pregnant woman at the villa he is robbing, a poor burglar out to secure a future for his family, helps the woman give birth even though it may lose him a million dollars."
“When he is surprised by a pregnant woman at the villa he is robbing, a poor burglar out to secure a future for his family, helps the woman give birth even though it may lose him a million dollars.”
See less