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After believing that his son is possessed, a former sinful man learns that the spirit is son’s mother whom the man had shot dead a few years ago and she wants revenge
This logline doesn't have an action. Who is the protagonist? I'm assuming it's the sinful man but the logline reads as though the mother could be the protagonist. If it's the man that's the protagonist what does he do once his wife possesses his son? Also I wouldn't use the word "believing" in the lRead more
This logline doesn’t have an action. Who is the protagonist? I’m assuming it’s the sinful man but the logline reads as though the mother could be the protagonist. If it’s the man that’s the protagonist what does he do once his wife possesses his son?
Also I wouldn’t use the word “believing” in the logline. I would just say something like “After a reformed sinner’s son is possessed by the vengeful wife he murdered, he must find a way to exorcise her before the truth is revealed.”
See lessA bipolar mayoress must confront her own fears and demons to prove her innocence when the body of the mayor turns up dead along a baron riverbank with her fingerprints on the murder weapon.
I personally LOVE films that make you question the protagonists sanity so this sounds great! I think you could remove "body of the mayor turns up dead along a baron shore" it's redundant and the specifics of the scenery aren't important. I would also suggest adding something that strongly indicatesRead more
I personally LOVE films that make you question the protagonists sanity so this sounds great! I think you could remove “body of the mayor turns up dead along a baron shore” it’s redundant and the specifics of the scenery aren’t important. I would also suggest adding something that strongly indicates she could be framed but she could be “crazy” and actually did it.
Example:
When a bipolar Mayoress is accused of murdering her husband, she must confront her darkest nightmares in order to prove her innocence to the police, the public, and most of all to herself.
I hope this is helpful 🙂
See lessAn ex-junky survives a plane crash before losing his company to the FEDS, but to stop the tailspin, he’ll sacrifice his life for his family’s future.
The events leading up to the catalyst are super interesting but the Goal/Action is very vague. What does "sacrifice his life" mean? Is he taking on the federal government to get his company back? Is he joining the mafia to get money for his family? Is he performing seppuku to save his families honorRead more
The events leading up to the catalyst are super interesting but the Goal/Action is very vague. What does “sacrifice his life” mean? Is he taking on the federal government to get his company back? Is he joining the mafia to get money for his family? Is he performing seppuku to save his families honor? Try focusing less on the catalyst events and more on his goal and why it’s important for his family’s future.
Example:
After a series of tragic events, a recovering addict and loyal father must take on rogue federal agents to uncover a conspiracy that threatens the happiness and safety of his family.
I hope this is helpful! 😀
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