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A subdued house wife’s life is turned upside down when 2 violent criminals wreak havoc in her small town, leading to the death of her husband. She has to fight for justice, and fight to get her life back. But is she really the innocent victim?
No need for questions at the end of a logline, they often work against its purpose."A subdued house wife?s life is turned upside down when 2 violent criminals wreak havoc in her small town, leading to the death of her husband." Is a long way of saying: After a violent criminal kills her husband...BeRead more
No need for questions at the end of a logline, they often work against its purpose.
“A subdued house wife?s life is turned upside down when 2 violent criminals wreak havoc in her small town, leading to the death of her husband.”
Is a long way of saying:
After a violent criminal kills her husband…
Best to employ economy in loglines, as the brevity of a logline is indicative professionalism.
What is the house wife’s goal? What exactly does she want?
See lessIt could be to put the killers in jail for example, what ever it is mention it specifically as “…get her life back…” is to vague a goal for a logline.
Through her visions, a young book shop worker embarks on helping two police detectives catch a masked vigilante killing the men of a vicious career criminal, who killed her family. But is she friend or foe?
The question at the end of the logline should be removed, as the logline's purpose is to describe a plot not tease per say. Secondly the goal is confusing. Why does she want to catch the masked vigilante that's killing the bad guys, wouldn't she want to catch the killer who murdered her family insteRead more
The question at the end of the logline should be removed, as the logline’s purpose is to describe a plot not tease per say.
Secondly the goal is confusing. Why does she want to catch the masked vigilante that’s killing the bad guys, wouldn’t she want to catch the killer who murdered her family instead?
The structure of the logline could be changed to emulate the plot of the story and add clarity, for example:
After a serial killer kills her family, a clairvoyant librarian must work with a police detective to catch the murderer.
See lessOn the verge of capture, Vera, a peevish teenage Jew, flees the Nazi invasion of her Romanian village and crosses paths with a British secret service agent who reluctantly mentors her after she learns of her family?s murder. When her mentor is exposed as a double agent, she launches a vicious global vendetta to bring Nazi war criminals to justice before they can disappear into post-WWII hiding.
You shouldn't need to explain the need for a mentor in a logline, as mentors are archetypes often used in many genres. To that matter the presence of a mentor may work well in the story, but their mention in the logline is not necessary either.
You shouldn’t need to explain the need for a mentor in a logline, as mentors are archetypes often used in many genres. To that matter the presence of a mentor may work well in the story, but their mention in the logline is not necessary either.
See less