Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
Paranoid and close to breaking a drug addicted army medic must survive a plot to get him killed after he discusses a friendly fire cover up.
There are too many? "we don't know" or "it could be real or not" moments in your explanation of the story. As you are obviously still structuring the basic plot, try to simplify it in a logline paradigm and ignore the paranoia tendencies at this stage. Main character is: The army medic. MC flaw is:Read more
There are too many? “we don’t know” or “it could be real or not” moments in your explanation of the story.
As you are obviously still structuring the basic plot, try to simplify it in a logline paradigm and ignore the paranoia tendencies at this stage.
Main character is:
The army medic.
MC flaw is:
Drug addiction.
Inciting incident could be:
1 – Death of his fellow soldiers.
or
2 – His discovery of the friendly-fire cover up.
or
3 – An attempt on his life.
His obstacle is:
The bad officers in his regiment.
His goal could be:
1 – To kill the assassins.
or
2 – To kill his commanding officer.
or
3 – To bring the bad officers before a court martial.
I suggest you pick one inciting incident and a goal and re draft the logline with those.
See lessA fledgling detective pursues a serial killer and is faced with panic attacks when she gets too close.
An interesting concept! Firstly, the she in the latter half of the sentence is referring to the serial killer grammatically, not sure if that's what you intended? I would like to know more about the story and conflict, I understand the detective has a man vs himself conflict developing with her struRead more
An interesting concept! Firstly, the she in the latter half of the sentence is referring to the serial killer grammatically, not sure if that’s what you intended? I would like to know more about the story and conflict, I understand the detective has a man vs himself conflict developing with her struggle to overcome her panic, and the man vs man conflict with the serial killer is also there, but maybe what’s bothering me is that your detective doesn’t sound active enough? Perhaps changing “faced with” to “struggles to overcome” might give her more agency. Something to consider.
See lessIn order to save her abducted daughter, a desperate American expatriate must stop an inexorable Nigerian terrorist from launching a nuclear attack on Nigerian soil.
Agree with Richiev.?? There needs to be a more direct, causal connection between the kidnapping and the bomb threat.? As he does in his suggested logline.? And?I like the plus factor he adds, the ticking clock, only?24 hours to save his daughter.
Agree with Richiev.?? There needs to be a more direct, causal connection between the kidnapping and the bomb threat.? As he does in his suggested logline.? And?I like the plus factor he adds, the ticking clock, only?24 hours to save his daughter.
See less