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A small town detective is forced into an inconceivable mystery when a severed hand, genetically identical to his, appears next to the headless body of a boy. When the case leads back to his own missing son, he?s introduced to a world of parallel universes in which he may be able to save his family and the world.
Just a possible version to consider (although I'm not sure it is what you intended) - When a small town detective is faced with a gory trail of evidence that implicates himself in the fate of his own missing son, he discovers a series of parallel universes which he must navigate in order to save hisRead more
Just a possible version to consider (although I’m not sure it is what you intended) –
See lessWhen a small town detective is faced with a gory trail of evidence that implicates himself in the fate of his own missing son, he discovers a series of parallel universes which he must navigate in order to save his family and the world.
A local birdman legend proves true when an uprooted and miserable preteen, in order to protect his new home and family from treasure hunters in search of a hidden fortune, seeks help from a disagreeable and secretive derelict inhabiting an ancient oak tree and finds he?s rewarded with a new optimism for life.
As FFF said. And?statements like?"he?s rewarded with a new optimism for life"? are superfluous -- and vague and relate to?a subjective need rather than an objective want or goal.? (And, anyway,? most stories have a happy ending.) Also as structured the logline presents the protagonist as passive, thRead more
As FFF said.
And?statements like?”he?s rewarded with a new optimism for life”? are superfluous — and vague and relate to?a subjective need rather than an objective want or goal.? (And, anyway,? most stories have a happy ending.)
Also as structured the logline presents the protagonist as passive, the receiver of the solution to his problem —?”he’s rewarded”.? A protagonist needs to be proactive, the agent of his own fate.?( In this scenario, the derelict would play the role of helpful mentor.)
See lessWhen she receives a suspicious email from the Logline It admin, a talented logliner must overcome life-threatening tech challenges to re-activate her account
Cute.
Cute.
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