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A woman finds a phone connected to the future, she is tasked by people to do a series of increasingly extreme tasks in an attempt to fix their present, or it may be her latest bout of mental illness.
A solid story idea. You could probably drop everything after the comma.
A solid story idea.
See lessYou could probably drop everything after the comma.
A priest kidnaps an atheist writer and tortures him until he believes in God or one of them dies in the process.
Not sure if I'd want to watch this, but it reminds me of a scene in Severance, where one character is mentally tortured until she says something in a way that sounds like she believes it. This reads like a version of Misery, with a psycho priest. "Both David and the priest must reexamine their belieRead more
Not sure if I’d want to watch this, but it reminds me of a scene in Severance, where one character is mentally tortured until she says something in a way that sounds like she believes it.
This reads like a version of Misery, with a psycho priest.
“Both David and the priest must reexamine their beliefs” doesn’t seem plausible, because a psycho is unlikely to be cured, and David is not going to become a believer from the experience.
Finally, your logline confirms to me that the formula we advocate on this website is effective, because it suggests to write the logline from the Main Character’s POV.
Can you give it a shot, and write this logline from the POV of David? “When an atheist writer is kidnapped and tortured…”
This recommended approach also stresses the need for an Action by David. The way you have written it, David is a passive character in the version of the story I imagine.
See lessAfter her sister kills her parents and herself, the relationship with her boyfriend is put to a significant test when they embark on a trip to a small commune in Sweden where she hopes the experience can help her deal with the grief.
As this is a thriller, the logline would benefit from some suspense.
As this is a thriller, the logline would benefit from some suspense.
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