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  1. Posted: October 10, 2016In: Thriller

    The Examiner, is a thriller about an emotionally stressed widower and single parent bank examiner, who investigating a multi-billion dollar financial fraud,discover that all clues lead to himself and must find the imposter before a determined anti-fraud unit officer catches up with him.This becomes increasingly difficult because the imposter- happens to be the way ward son he is struggling to control , being forced by an ex-convict bank manager on a revenge course..

    Best Answer
    hihello8484 Logliner
    Added an answer on October 10, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    Thank you my brothers and mentors.

    Thank you my brothers and mentors.

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  2. Posted: October 5, 2016In: Thriller

    A single mother wakes up one morning having forgotten the past 16 years and the circumstances of her husband’s disappearance. While she tries to find him, a vengeful cop implicates her for a murder.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on October 7, 2016 at 9:51 am

    The latest draft of the logline is a bit more streamlined in terms of events, but still lacks a compelling motivation and clear goal.The fact she can't remember the father's identity is really no biggie. What's the worst that will happen should she fail to find the father? Equally what's the best thRead more

    The latest draft of the logline is a bit more streamlined in terms of events, but still lacks a compelling motivation and clear goal.

    The fact she can’t remember the father’s identity is really no biggie. What’s the worst that will happen should she fail to find the father? Equally what’s the best that would happen if she does find the father? What does she stand to gain? Not much…

    What will she do once she finds the father? What is the purpose of her search outside of identifying him?

    Her stakes are low and goal unclear.

    Lastly “…a vengeful cop…” is a vague description of a bad guy – vengeful about what? The whole murder investigation feels like a ‘tacked on’ plot point and unrelated to the story. Either make her struggling to prove her innocence in the murder investigation the A plot or drop it altogether.

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  3. Posted: October 2, 2016In: Thriller

    When his revengeful ex-wife murders one of his neighbors, a dismissed errant detective must use his unorthodox methods to help the police force bring her to justice.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 3, 2016 at 1:05 am

    >>>I was wondering, how the volountary/forced OG affects the quality or viability of the logline? I feel that this is an important point.Good question, FFF.When the protagonist voluntarily commits to the objective goal , then the question arises in my mind ?as to the quality and viability oRead more

    >>>I was wondering, how the volountary/forced OG affects the quality or viability of the logline? I feel that this is an important point.

    Good question, FFF.

    When the protagonist voluntarily commits to the objective goal , then the question arises in my mind ?as to the quality and viability of the protagonist’s motivation. ?How does the inciting incident hook into the protagonist’s psychology such that it motivates him to break out of the comfy cage of the status quo, venture into the treacherous unknown, engage in risky behavior?

    Well, you can’t spell that all out in a logline, obviously, but it should be implicit, ?a factor a logline reader can intuitively grasp. ?When an action is voluntary then the protagonist has to have a good reason for doing it, right?

    In this logline, the detective’s decision to solve the case is not forced upon him. ? If he were still on the force, having the case assigned to him would be a straightforward, credible causal link between the inciting incident and the objective goal.

    But he’s been fired. ?So his action is voluntary. ?He has to opt in.

    And he does. ?Why? ?What is the psychological hook of the inciting incident that motivates him to opt in?

    Well, he ?is — or was — a detective. So ?how about he still has a habit for the hunt? ?His response is Pavlovian. ?Well, that could be a factor, but is that sufficient enough a motivation to kick off the plot?

    And she’s a neighbor. ?But how good a neighbor? ?Did they frequently chat, exchange holiday gifts, reciprocate with mutual acts of kindness and assistance? ?IOW: what were the bonds of friendship that would motivate him to solve the mystery case? ?How involved was he in her life that emotionally justifies his getting involved in her death? ?We don’t have a clue.

    But if they were lovers — ?well, now the psychological hook is obvious and strong. No elaboration is needed.

    Take away: the voluntary-involuntary question in my template cues me to consider the viability of the link between the inciting incident and the objective goal.

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