1. Posted: December 1, 2016In:

    After his wife gives birth to a stillborn, a wizard has three days to enlist the help of the state?s only necromancer to resurrect his daughter and break a generational curse that will kill all the female children born into the family.

    Best Answer
    Lorato Logliner

    Creative spaces ?are indeed the way to go. Thank you all creatives for your reviews, you have helped tremendously. ?After your last notes I had to make some serious adjustments to the screenplay which by the way I have completed. I heard about this website after I wrote my screenplay ?which became eRead more

    Creative spaces ?are indeed the way to go. Thank you all creatives for your reviews, you have helped tremendously. ?After your last notes I had to make some serious adjustments to the screenplay which by the way I have completed. I heard about this website after I wrote my screenplay ?which became even more helpful because your notes to the logline helped me improve the screenplay. I am glad you ?love this latest version and I will be sure to make the necessary changes and cut down on words like you suggested. thank you tons again.

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: November 26, 2016In:

    When he discovers the CIA are controlling the public through the media, a sensationalist conspiracy vlogger must decipher their hidden messages to stop their nefarious plans.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    >>>to stop their nefarious plans. What are their nefarious plans? So he deciphers the messages? ?What then? ?End of film, FADE OUT to CREDIT SCROLL? ?IOW: What must he do with that information? (And how can he know there's a conspiracy before he's able to decipher the messages?)

    >>>to stop their nefarious plans.

    What are their nefarious plans?

    So he deciphers the messages? ?What then? ?End of film, FADE OUT to CREDIT SCROLL? ?IOW: What must he do with that information?

    (And how can he know there’s a conspiracy before he’s able to decipher the messages?)

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: November 24, 2016In:

    Set up by her serial killer nemesis, an alcoholic detective comes under suspicion and must fight to remain in control of her investigation, her sanity and her freedom.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Good advise by DPG. I'll add that you'd be better off describing the inciting incident in a more immediate, if not dramatic, way - After she is framed for a murder by her serial killer nemesis... The next step would be for you to come up with an original course of action for the cop. Cop's being fraRead more

    Good advise by DPG.

    I’ll add that you’d be better off describing the inciting incident in a more immediate, if not dramatic, way – After she is framed for a murder by her serial killer nemesis…

    The next step would be for you to come up with an original course of action for the cop. Cop’s being framed and needing to clear their name has become a trope, what else can she do that would put a spin on the premise? What if she purposely goes to jail in order to get close to the one that framed her?? Or asks the boss of a Mafia to help her? Whatever it is she does, the action needs to be clear from the logline. “…fight to remain in control…” could mean any number of things, it would be far better to specify what it is she actually needs to do, and make it original.

    See less
    • 0