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When a witch who is also a medical doctor is left with three days to raise his daughter from the dead, he enlists the help of an ameteur witch who has three days to save her mother from a deadly disease.
Dkpough1:I noted the contrast between daughter and mother but didn't know what to make of it terms of the story.My primary issues is that I think there has to be a good reason why ?the daughter needs to be resurrected . (And the mother saved.) ?Unfinished business, a wrong to be rectified, an injustRead more
Dkpough1:
I noted the contrast between daughter and mother but didn’t know what to make of it terms of the story.
My primary issues is that I think there has to be a good reason why ?the daughter needs to be resurrected . (And the mother saved.) ?Unfinished business, a wrong to be rectified, an injustice remedied, a broken relationship mended — whatever. I don’t think that the grief of ?personal loss is sufficient for dramatic purposes.
And achieving the objective goal ?should have unintended consequences: be careful what you wish for. ?(In keeping with the genre assigned to the concept: thriller.)
See lessWhen recent murders indicate the return of mythological creatures, a dismissed errant detective finds his estranged-and-murderous wife coming for him, out for revenge.
The initial descriptions are not of the inciting incident - as DPG wrote there's no causal connection between that and his ex wife. However, you seem to end the logline on an inciting incident - "...his estranged-and-murderous wife coming for him..." what must he do now as a result of this?
The initial descriptions are not of the inciting incident – as DPG wrote there’s no causal connection between that and his ex wife.
See lessHowever, you seem to end the logline on an inciting incident – “…his estranged-and-murderous wife coming for him…” what must he do now as a result of this?
After she covers up a murder, an ambitious cop must escape the clutches of the disturbed young man that blackmails her.
Even if she didn't commit the murder, her covering it up is just as bad - empathy will be a problem. I think the story really starts when the man blackmails her - it reads like the inciting incident. If you want to keep her an anti-hero (you're a braver writer than I...), find a away to give her a nRead more
Even if she didn’t commit the murder, her covering it up is just as bad – empathy will be a problem.
I think the story really starts when the man blackmails her – it reads like the inciting incident. If you want to keep her an anti-hero (you’re a braver writer than I…), find a away to give her a noble motivation for doing the cover up, and then change the order around so it reads as if the blackmail is the inciting incident. Obviously give her a clear goal, now that she is being blackmailed what MUST she do in order to rectify the situation?
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