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  1. Posted: May 24, 2017In: Thriller

    A suspended detective confronts his long-buried past investigating an unsolved murder that forces him to face himself, to his end or a cathartic answer for the murder girl and himself.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on May 25, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    Agreed with the above - the inciting incident is not clear and lacks a strong element of motivation.Also, best to stay away from vague descriptions such as "...confronts his long-buried past..." and "...forces him to face himself..." as they lack detail they fail to inform the reader about the plot.

    Agreed with the above – the inciting incident is not clear and lacks a strong element of motivation.

    Also, best to stay away from vague descriptions such as “…confronts his long-buried past…” and “…forces him to face himself…” as they lack detail they fail to inform the reader about the plot.

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  2. Posted: May 25, 2017In: Thriller

    After cops investigating space piracy are publicly killed, the Homicide Detective must solve the piracy case before the murderer kills him or his family

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on May 25, 2017 at 3:39 pm

    There are a few fundamental elements that are unclear about this concept: What does "...publicly killed..." mean? Is the detective investigating the killing of the cops or deaths resulting from the piracy? Why must he solve the piracy case?

    There are a few fundamental elements that are unclear about this concept:

    What does “…publicly killed…” mean?

    Is the detective investigating the killing of the cops or deaths resulting from the piracy?

    Why must he solve the piracy case?

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  3. Posted: May 16, 2017In: Thriller

    After a space piracy witness and two cops are publicly murdered, the Senior Investigator must escape from the murderer and solve the piracy case before his family or more cops are killed

    Best Answer
    Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on May 18, 2017 at 4:00 am

    What is the setting for this adventure? Is it contained on a spacecraft somewhere? Cause then we can begin with murders occuring there and our investigator is contained with the murderer in that space -- makes things more dangerous that way.

    What is the setting for this adventure? Is it contained on a spacecraft somewhere? Cause then we can begin with murders occuring there and our investigator is contained with the murderer in that space — makes things more dangerous that way.

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