1. Posted: June 2, 2017In:

    Reword: Imprisoned in an apartment with a complete stranger, a humanitarian twenty-something has to a find a way to save the world and its population before her abductors? plan unfolds.

    jumeriot Logliner

    I made a new logline for it: https://loglines.org/logline/reword-2-when-she-is-abducted-by-her-estranged-father-so-she-can-be-spared-a-stubborn-humanitarian-must-find-a-way-to-prevent-him-from-killing-most-of-humanity/

    I made a new logline for it:
    https://loglines.org/logline/reword-2-when-she-is-abducted-by-her-estranged-father-so-she-can-be-spared-a-stubborn-humanitarian-must-find-a-way-to-prevent-him-from-killing-most-of-humanity/

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  2. Posted: June 2, 2017In:

    A molested, suspended cop privately investigates an unsolved murder, believing it is linked to his partner?s killing, finds carnal secrets, murders but must face his past to save himself, the girl he loves, to silence the voices of the unresolved

    Richiev Singularity

    What your character must do:Solve a murderDiscover who killed his partnerFind carnal secretsFace his pastSave himself Save the girl he lovesSilence the voices in his head...WhewOkay... You might want to narrow down the lead character's goals in your logline in order to focus it and help the reader uRead more

    What your character must do:

    Solve a murder
    Discover who killed his partner
    Find carnal secrets
    Face his past
    Save himself
    Save the girl he loves
    Silence the voices in his head…

    Whew

    Okay… You might want to narrow down the lead character’s goals in your logline in order to focus it and help the reader understand the main storyline better.

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  3. Posted: June 1, 2017In:

    A suspended detective confronts his past investigating an unsolved murder believing it?s connected to his partner?s killing that forces him to face himself, to his end or a cathartic answer for both murders and himself.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    This reads like a pitch, still unsure what the movie/story is. "A suspended cop start privately investigating a cold case murder believing it is linked to his partners death but....," insert obstacles.

    This reads like a pitch, still unsure what the movie/story is.

    “A suspended cop start privately investigating a cold case murder believing it is linked to his partners death but….,” insert obstacles.

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