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A detective struggles to solve his partner?s murder finds himself hunted by two dirty cops believing he?s closing in on them for their murders.
Captain, This reads a bit awkward, but probably won't take much to fix. I'd start here and add a detail or 2. A ?detective struggles to uncover that his partner's murder was an inside job carried out by his own co-workers. Good luck.
Captain,
This reads a bit awkward, but probably won’t take much to fix. I’d start here and add a detail or 2.
A ?detective struggles to uncover that his partner’s murder was an inside job carried out by his own co-workers.
Good luck.
See lessWhen cops and a witness are murdered, a determined Homicide Detective must solve a space piracy case to find their killer and the controlling mastermind.
In response to the first one: It is unclear why he must solve a space piracy case. On it's on it implies no connection, and the logline offers no connective thread other than the same character is working both cases. The potential hook of your story is the fact of the sci fi element. So embrace it.Read more
In response to the first one:
It is unclear why he must solve a space piracy case. On it’s on it implies no connection, and the logline offers no connective thread other than the same character is working both cases.
See lessThe potential hook of your story is the fact of the sci fi element. So embrace it. What about your sci fi setting gives this otherwise normal detective story unique? Use the sci fi setting to your advantage, make it necessary to the story. For example, in Minority Report the very thing Anderton is investigating is ingrained in the sci fi element of the story.
As a cops races against time to prevent another murder, his own, as he struggles to forgive himself against the misguided belief he?s liable for all these murders.
What the others have said. And "struggles to forgive himself..." relates to his subjective need. ?However critical it is to script, it is superfluous for the purpose of a logline. ?Loglines should focus on the struggle for an objective goal against an ?specific antagonist and/or a specific insurmounRead more
What the others have said.
And “struggles to forgive himself…” relates to his subjective need. ?However critical it is to script, it is superfluous for the purpose of a logline. ?Loglines should focus on the struggle for an objective goal against an ?specific antagonist and/or a specific insurmountable obstacle.
See less