1. Posted: August 4, 2022In:

    After finding out his moms artificial heart is failing, a low level hacker navigates a seedy cyberpunk underworld to do whatever it takes to keep her alive.

    BenGilani Logliner

    Hi biscayneCreative, I think you should relate "a seedy cyberpunk underworld" to "his mom's artificial heart that is failing". I mean what is he looking for in a seedy cyberpunk underworld? What is he hoping to achieve by navigating a seedy cyberpunk underworld? How can he save his mom's life by navRead more

    Hi biscayneCreative,

    I think you should relate “a seedy cyberpunk underworld” to “his mom’s artificial heart that is failing”. I mean what is he looking for in a seedy cyberpunk underworld? What is he hoping to achieve by navigating a seedy cyberpunk underworld? How can he save his mom’s life by navigating a seedy cyberpunk underworld? Also IF something is stopping him? Any challenges (if any)?

    I suggest you re-write and ask again.

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  2. Posted: July 22, 2022In:

    A occult detective finds herself in a world of supernatural beings in dystopian America.

    BenGilani Logliner

    Hi IvyEight6, I personally like where you are going with this logline. That's why I need to know the answer to the following questions in order to help/review. Do you mean an undercover detective by an occult detective? or do you mean a detective who investigates occult cases? What other word/s canRead more

    Hi IvyEight6,
    I personally like where you are going with this logline. That’s why I need to know the answer to the following questions in order to help/review.
    Do you mean an undercover detective by an occult detective? or do you mean a detective who investigates occult cases?
    What other word/s can you use instead of “dystopian”?
    How does the detective find herself in the world of supernatural beings?

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  3. Posted: July 22, 2022In:

    BATTLEGROUND :During World War Two, in the merciless and freezing wilderness of Siberia, stranded German and American soldiers put their differences aside to exterminate hostile, self-replicating, alien parasites which threaten not only America and Germany — but all mankind.

    BenGilani Logliner

    Hi pickerman 123, How about Stranded in the glacial wilderness of Siberia, WWII rivals, American and German soldiers must join forces and fight off an other-worldly / extraterrestrial / alien / paranormal enemy. You can also ad: that is now a threat to both armies / parties / sides / ..... I hope thRead more

    Hi pickerman 123,

    How about

    Stranded in the glacial wilderness of Siberia, WWII rivals, American and German soldiers must join forces and fight off an other-worldly / extraterrestrial / alien / paranormal enemy.

    You can also ad:

    that is now a threat to both armies / parties / sides / …..

    I hope this helps

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