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When a young 2.0 human called Uluru meets other humans like him, he must decide if he stays with the pygmy tribe that accepted him as one of their own or leave the tribe searching for a promised land occupied by other 2.0 humans.
"Young 2.0 human" = protagonist "meets other humans like him" = inciting incident "must ... search for a promised land occupied by other 2.0 humans" = character goal Great log line. Sci-fi is a favorite genre. If this were my logline, I'd go deeper on the 'Sophie's Choice (1982)' like dilemma presenRead more
“Young 2.0 human” = protagonist
“meets other humans like him” = inciting incident
“must … search for a promised land occupied by other 2.0 humans” = character goal
Great log line. Sci-fi is a favorite genre. If this were my logline, I’d go deeper on the ‘Sophie’s Choice (1982)’ like dilemma presented by the main cyborg character.
An inciting incident is usually an event that catapults the character into the story crucible. They are literally trapped, in a place that makes them feel very (very) uncomfortable.
What ‘type’ of character is the cyborg? Courageous/weak? Curious/incurious? Optimistic/Pessimistic?
By defining the personality type, the audience can then anticipate how much the character is going to squirm in the given situation. A choice to stay with friendly people, or find a promise land, will very much reflect the values of a character. A Weak, incurious and pessimistic character, would I imagine, stay in safety with the group. But what if this same character where rejected by the group – wow, what an adventure they might have. They may even transform, character arcing into a new amazing person …
See lessIn the year 2112, Tom Sawyer discovers a guitar, forbidden by The Priests of Syrinx. Embracing The Spirit of Radio, Tom wants to express his Freewill through music. Forced to Fly By Night, he uncovers a secret Closer to the Heart that threatens the governing technocracy.
Was he transported to 2112, already establishing a sci-fi element? Or is this a new story? Overall, I think you could get your three sentences down to one by eliminating repetition. This sounds a lot like the stage play "We Will Rock You." Personally, the Rush songs are not relatable to me but if thRead more
Was he transported to 2112, already establishing a sci-fi element? Or is this a new story? Overall, I think you could get your three sentences down to one by eliminating repetition. This sounds a lot like the stage play “We Will Rock You.” Personally, the Rush songs are not relatable to me but if this was a favorite band of mine, maybe it would hit more? Either way, this sounds like a great story for older rock fans. You would have to target very specifically when querying.
See lessA shell shocked soldier in post-invasion Europe has to decide between taking vengeance on the invaders or saving a group of forgotten teenagers after he’s been wounded attempting to destroy the source of the invaders power.
"shell shocked soldier" = protagonist "he’s wounded attempting to destroy the source of the invaders power" = inciting incident "vengeance on the invaders" = main character goal "saving a group of forgotten teenagers" = main character goal "post-invasion Europe " = setting The potential weakness, feRead more
“shell shocked soldier” = protagonist
“he’s wounded attempting to destroy the source of the invaders power” = inciting incident
“vengeance on the invaders” = main character goal
“saving a group of forgotten teenagers” = main character goal
“post-invasion Europe ” = setting
The potential weakness, feels like it might be the double main character goals. While it is presented as a potential ‘Sophie’s Choice (1982)’, it lacks the depth of a moral dilemma.
External conflict is great, should character do X or do Y, but it is Internal Conflict that truly tears a character apart. Internal conflict is psychological. What type of character is our shell shocked soldier? Courageous? weak? sentimental? passionate? honorable?
An honorable character might choose serving his army, over saving forgotten teenagers. But a Sentimental character might choose saving teenagers, over seeking revenge.
Question: How might the inciting incident, cause our main character to have to make a choice? That is, the invading powers caused our teenagers to be forgotten, AND (riffing here, but maybe) the teenager is the daughter of the main character – then he would have to save her then! Right!
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