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When the disappearance of his wife falls in the hands of androids, a flawed father must seek answers to the reasoning behind his loss while mistakenly neglecting his daughter in the process
You might want to reconsider the first line. (up to the coma) I am not quite sure what you mean by, "When the disappearance of his wife falls in the hands of androids..." The way the line is written makes its meaning unclear. Here is just a guess: ----- "When his wife is killed by androids, a flawedRead more
You might want to reconsider the first line. (up to the coma)
I am not quite sure what you mean by, “When the disappearance of his wife falls in the hands of androids…”
The way the line is written makes its meaning unclear. Here is just a guess:
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“When his wife is killed by androids, a flawed father seeks answers to the loss, while mistakenly neglecting his daughter.”
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Anyway, a little re-write with some clarity will help the logline get across what is clearly an interesting story concept.
The survivor of a failed space mission must prove his loyalties between the bizarre inhabitants of an asteroid colony and the mad doctor who controls the colony or face certain death in the void of space.
What is the central conflict? Is the central conflict just that the lead must prove his loyalty or die? Just curious.
What is the central conflict?
Is the central conflict just that the lead must prove his loyalty or die?
See lessJust curious.
When extraterrestrials who believe humans are annihilating the earth by pollution attempt to take a young boy they have bio-engineered to a new planet, the government uses armed forces to prevent this from happening, as they plan to use the boy as a super-soldier.
This confuses me because I don't understand why they have bioengineered the boy to another planet. Isn't this boy bioengineered to help save the Earth? Why would the armed forces of the Earth have the capability of preventing the boy's abduction? Maybe something like: A boy who has been bioengineereRead more
This confuses me because I don’t understand why they have bioengineered the boy to another planet. Isn’t this boy bioengineered to help save the Earth?
Why would the armed forces of the Earth have the capability of preventing the boy’s abduction?
Maybe something like:
A boy who has been bioengineered to eradicate the pollution that will end all life on Earth within a year must thwart the attempts of aliens who want to abduct him to save their world instead.
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