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When a single and aspiring journalist is denied access to the diaries of a missing professor, he embarks on a fateful journey, accompanied by his editor, to solve the mystery.
What are the stakes? What is to be gained by solving the mystery? What is to be lost by failing to solve the mystery? Why should a viewer be curious and care about the outcome of the 'fateful journey'?
What are the stakes? What is to be gained by solving the mystery? What is to be lost by failing to solve the mystery? Why should a viewer be curious and care about the outcome of the ‘fateful journey’?
See lessWhen the Germans discover nuclear fission, a troubled American physicist must race against the clock to detonate an atom bomb, but when his loyalty is questioned, he must fight a rigged tribunal to have his security clearance reinstated.
>>When tasked with ending World War II. The logline should include an explicit statement of the urgency (with implied stakes). The explicit urgency was a race against time to develop an atom bomb before the Nazis. The implied stakes: whoever won the race would win the war. Also, the plot is baRead more
>>When tasked with ending World War II.
The logline should include an explicit statement of the urgency (with implied stakes). The explicit urgency was a race against time to develop an atom bomb before the Nazis. The implied stakes: whoever won the race would win the war.
Also, the plot is based on real historical events during World War II, specifically the Manhattan Project. So this is an exception to the general rule that a logline should not name the protagonist. In this instance, it is OK, even necessary to name the historical character (J. Robert Oppenheimer) involved in the historical event.
And equally as important, his role: Oppenheimer wasn’t just a “visionary physicist”; he was tapped to perform in the central role of the plot as the director of the Manhattan Project.
See lessWhen sent a package containing her boyfriend’s belongings, a conflicted lover must uncover the cause of his disappearance; but when she learns he willingly vanished to pursue space travel, she must embrace selflessness and accept his decision.
I like it! But the ACTION in the second half can be stronger. Right now it only gives us her psychological growth, not a visible (filmable) action. Of course, short films are more flexible, and perhaps the climactic scene is about just that: her acceptance... In any case, try the Logline Generator (Read more
I like it! But the ACTION in the second half can be stronger. Right now it only gives us her psychological growth, not a visible (filmable) action. Of course, short films are more flexible, and perhaps the climactic scene is about just that: her acceptance…
In any case, try the Logline Generator (link above), and you’ll see that the better version of this logline might be along the lines of:
When sent a package containing her boyfriend’s belongings, a conflicted lover must uncover the cause of his disappearance; but when she learns he willingly vanished to pursue space travel, she must embrace selflessness and accept his decision BEFORE [Final Action].
I still think that there could be a final action that SHOWS her transformation.
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