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A basketball star must battle his vengeful mother’s attempt to sabotage his championship hopes when a posthumous letter from his long-lost dad reveals the young man was abducted and raised under a false identity.
Thank you yqwertz. I think I'm through actually posting anymore versions for a while. I did come up with another version (see below), which might be more effective? Logline: After a college basketball star plays on national television, his championship hopes are jeopardized after a family relative dRead more
Thank you yqwertz. I think I’m through actually posting anymore versions for a while. I did come up with another version (see below), which might be more effective?
Logline:
After a college basketball star plays on national television, his championship hopes are jeopardized after a family relative delivers proof the young man had been abducted and given a new identity by his felonious mother.
See lessFacing hard time for an unpaid debt, an unorthodox street busker races to find the most spectacular way to bring his piano music to the attention of Europe?s most famous manager before it?s too late ? inspired by a true event.
This clearly won't be a high concept film, it sounds more in the indie format. But the concept itself seems very unappealing. What about this street busker makes him good enough to think he has what it takes to present his music to a famous music manager? Is the busker an undiscovered savant in musiRead more
This clearly won’t be a high concept film, it sounds more in the indie format. But the concept itself seems very unappealing. What about this street busker makes him good enough to think he has what it takes to present his music to a famous music manager? Is the busker an undiscovered savant in music or something? And what exactly do you mean by before it’s too late? Is the famous music manager planning on going back to Europe soon or is the street busker on the verge of death? Structuring your Logline to answer those questions will make the concept of your movie much more appealing in my opinion.
See lessA college basketball star jeopardizes his championship hopes as he struggles to rescue his drug-addicted mother while searching for his biological dad.
I have seen quite a few versions of this logline and I was thinking of how to make it work. As written, your lead has three goals, this is why the logline is having a little trouble. (1: Save his mother from drugs) (2: Find his father) (3: Win a national championship) but at the same time, your storRead more
I have seen quite a few versions of this logline and I was thinking of how to make it work.
As written, your lead has three goals, this is why the logline is having a little trouble.
(1: Save his mother from drugs)
(2: Find his father)
(3: Win a national championship)
but at the same time, your story needs those three goals. That is what the story is about.
As a result, I think you should turn one of those ‘goals’ into the inciting incident.
—–
1: His mother’s overdose causes her to confess to the lead that his father is still alive. (Inciting incident)
2: This sets the story into motions: The lead characters search for his father. (Goal)
3: His search might endanger his chances of winning a national championship. (Stakes)
—–
Possible twist: Maybe his father is someone he knows, maybe a fan of his basketball team.
See less