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The ice caps have melted. The air supply is poisoned. The human race teeters on the brink of survival. One woman strives to challenge the re-emerging patriarchy. When the situation arises, how will society choose to rebuild itself?
You should put a face the patriarchy, one person who represents it. probably a leader of some sort. Also, you haven't told us what sets this story in motion. You give us a problem, Icecaps melted, and air supply poisoned... then tell us the dramatic problem is the patriarchy. If the patriarchy is thRead more
You should put a face the patriarchy, one person who represents it. probably a leader of some sort.
Also, you haven’t told us what sets this story in motion. You give us a problem, Icecaps melted, and air supply poisoned… then tell us the dramatic problem is the patriarchy.
If the patriarchy is the dramatic problem the story should begin with what event causes that problem when it specifically comes to the patriarchy.
See lessA bank manager invests 245 million dollars in an airport that does not exist, he must hunt down his scammers to save his bank from bankruptcy and going to jail.
I thinks that it would work better if you present the SCAM in a more precise way: for example, a bank manager loses 245 million dollars in an elaborate scam of an unexistent airport and must track down his scammers to save his freedom.
I thinks that it would work better if you present the SCAM in a more precise way: for example, a bank manager loses 245 million dollars in an elaborate scam of an unexistent airport and must track down his scammers to save his freedom.
See lessWhen his father and brother died in a tunnel collapse, a mischievous young boy must take over the work in mines to survive life.
Why is the boy mischievous and what will or won’t happen to him if he doesn’t solve the problem. Why is he taking over the mine ? You haven’t explained any of this nor the stakes that raise his risk either way.
Why is the boy mischievous and what will or won’t happen to him if he doesn’t solve the problem. Why is he taking over the mine ? You haven’t explained any of this nor the stakes that raise his risk either way.
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