Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
With no justice for the recent death of a gay dancer, a frustrated editor attends men’s self-help groups in a conservative town to prepare himself against them.
Why does the death of a gay dancer really get to this editor's head? Sounds like he has some issues to deal with himself. If so, I think we need to make it clear in the logline. Has he joined the self-help group to deal with his own monsters? And why does he need to prepare himself against them? WhaRead more
Why does the death of a gay dancer really get to this editor’s head? Sounds like he has some issues to deal with himself. If so, I think we need to make it clear in the logline. Has he joined the self-help group to deal with his own monsters? And why does he need to prepare himself against them? What has he got to confront them with?
See lessIn a male-dominated town, a frustrated editor attends to self-help groups for men, not to seek help but to prepare himself against them.
This logline isn't very specific or personal. To improve the logline you should show how the death of the gay dancer (From the previous logline) personally affects the lead character. Also, you should put a face to the bad guy. ----- "When his best friend, a gay dancer, is killed by the town bully aRead more
This logline isn’t very specific or personal.
To improve the logline you should show how the death of the gay dancer (From the previous logline) personally affects the lead character.
Also, you should put a face to the bad guy.
—–
“When his best friend, a gay dancer, is killed by the town bully and his pack, a frustrated editor attends a men’s retreat in order to get close to those responsible and get his revenge.”
—–
Overall, I think this is a solid premise. Perhaps the ‘self-help group for men,’ could be one of those, rediscover your manhood conferences, where the men all camp in the woods for a week in order to get back to the ‘Caveman within’.
The lead character would then knock the bad guys off one by one.
See lessOr if this is a non-violent movie, He finds his ‘caveman within’ only to (Discover ‘this’ about himself)
In a male-dominated town, a frustrated editor secretly attends self-help groups for men to prepare himself against them after the death of a gay dancer.
I prefer this version as it attempts to answer why he attends the self-help groups. Although you could have posted the second version as a comment here 😉. Thinking out loud… “In a male-dominated town” can be replaced with e.g., ”Set in an 80’s good old boy town, …”. “a frustrated editor” suggestionRead more
I prefer this version as it attempts to answer why he attends the self-help groups. Although you could have posted the second version as a comment here 😉.
Thinking out loud…
“In a male-dominated town” can be replaced with e.g., ”Set in an 80’s good old boy town, …”.
“a frustrated editor” suggestion “a closeted editor”.
“secretly attends self-help groups for men” coming from a small town myself, a single town folk will make it their business to know everyone else’s. In saying this, I’m not sure how secretive your protag actions can be especially in a group setting.
“to prepare himself against them” is a poignant statement – very powerful!
“after the death of a gay dancer” without your synopsis, this will appear to come from left field to the reader – suggest a logline rearrangement.
Example: Wordy, hope you get the idea.
“Set in an 80’s good old boy town with no justice for the recent death of a gay dancer, a closeted editor attends men’s self-help groups to prepare for the intolerance of his coming out declaration”
Hope you find this constructive; this is a solid premise.
See lessTake care.