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  1. Posted: June 8, 2016In: Drama

    When a prison gate is accidentally left open, a young female inmate must find a way to get to the gate and get her chance at freedom.

    DylanK Logliner
    Added an answer on June 9, 2016 at 1:13 am

    For me the main thing missing is the ticking clock. I understand that it's implied because this is a prison and no gate would remain unlocked for long. ?But as stated above that raises it's own problems. ?Just as dpg stated, ?I ?wonder how this mistake would go unnoticed for the 70-90 minutes neededRead more

    For me the main thing missing is the ticking clock.

    I understand that it’s implied because this is a prison and no gate would remain unlocked for long. ?But as stated above that raises it’s own problems. ?Just as dpg stated, ?I ?wonder how this mistake would go unnoticed for the 70-90 minutes needed for this film?

    That said, I feel like the discovery of the unlocked gate, and the planning on the fly (as apposed to preplanning) if what will make this movie fly. ?So as a log line reader, what I want to know is, how long does she have until that gate is closed and maybe a little bit more about why she noticed it unlocked an no one else did.

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  2. Posted: June 7, 2016In: Drama

    (TV show) Follows the afterlives of the dead buried at Park Green, a world renowned cemetery on the brink of closing

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 8, 2016 at 11:46 pm

    The concept promises to deliver a varied cast. ? But I'm a little concerned that it likewise can deliver on ?plots.? That is, that the concept is strong enough to deliver fresh new situations, ?problems, complications, episode after episode, season after season for 5 years. ?How long can the dramatiRead more

    The concept promises to deliver a varied cast. ? But I’m a little concerned that it likewise can deliver on ?plots.? That is, that the concept is strong enough to deliver fresh new situations, ?problems, complications, episode after episode, season after season for 5 years. ?How long can the dramatic threat to eliminate the cemetery be dragged out? ?

    And I think the logline needs to promise a viewing experience that is more compelling than merely “following the afterlives of the dead”. ?Although it would be an inconvenience that the spirits have to relocate, in what way is that a calamity? ?IOW: ?what are the stakes?

    Anyway, whatever the makeup of the pilot ensemble, there should be one distinctive character who more than the others drives the narrative. ?Maybe it’s the one who can still communicate with the living. ?Whoever it it is should be the designated main character for the purpose of the logline.

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  3. Posted: June 7, 2016In: Drama

    When a timeworn pro-wrestler is demoted to a developmental program, he begins an affair with his boss?s daughter to salvage his otherwise flourishing career.

    dizzo1014 Logliner
    Added an answer on June 8, 2016 at 1:46 am

    Hello,Thanks for sharing?? Your logline confuses me.? How can the wrestler have a flourishing career if he was demoted and timeworn?

    Hello,

    Thanks for sharing?? Your logline confuses me.? How can the wrestler have a flourishing career if he was demoted and timeworn?

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