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After the death if his daughter and best friend a SWAT sniper engages in a battle of wits and patience against a mob boss who is also his former teacher
Agreed with DPG, his change would be greater if he learns to bend when need be. Also best to specify a singe event that motivates him, I'de say the death of his daughter is a better choice than his mate - it's a?primal urge to protect ones young and failure hits at their core. Secondly his goal needRead more
Agreed with DPG, his change would be greater if he learns to bend when need be.
Also best to specify a singe event that motivates him, I’de say the death of his daughter is a better choice than his mate – it’s a?primal urge to protect ones young and failure hits at their core.
Secondly his goal needs clarification what exactly is he hoping to achieve in this “?battle of wits?”? Is the mob guy the killer and he wants to kill him? Or does the mob guy know where the killer is but refuses to tell the MC? What ever it is it needs to be specified.
See lessIn the midst of her marriage breaking down, an alcoholic family councilor must keep the balance between her kids and her job despite her emotional upheaval.
You said: "...her goal is to restore the peace in her family and to avoid a scandal that would affect her career?" Terms such as "...restore the peace in her family?" should be avoided in loglines, as they are generic and lack detail. ?From previous posts I think you mean protect her kids from gettiRead more
You said: “…her goal is to restore the peace in her family and to avoid a scandal that would affect her career?”
Terms such as “…restore the peace in her family?” should be avoided in loglines, as they are generic and lack detail. ?From previous posts I think you mean protect her kids from getting hurt.
I’m getting confused, which of the?TWO goals you mentioned is the primary one in the A plot of your story? Is it to protect her kids or protect her career?
Which ever one you choose you’ll need an appropriate inciting incident, as currently the logline lacks a clear event that starts her off on her journey.
See lessA post apocalyptic space ship carrying the rich and famous is overthrown by the slaves that run it, as they discover their manual skills are the new worlds currency, deeming fame and fortunes irrelevant.
Fame and fortune has always been built on the sweat equity of manual labor. ?See Karl Marx and his theory of surplus value of labor. So much for economic theory. ?The practical problem with this logline is that it sets up a situation, but does not lay out a plot. ? As a result of discovering that thRead more
Fame and fortune has always been built on the sweat equity of manual labor. ?See Karl Marx and his theory of surplus value of labor.
So much for economic theory. ?The practical problem with this logline is that it sets up a situation, but does not lay out a plot. ? As a result of discovering that the top %1 are dependent on their skill and labor, what do the other 99% do about it? ?Who among the exploited masses emerges as the protagonist? ?After overthrowing the ruling elite, what becomes his objective goal?
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