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  1. Posted: September 1, 2016In: Drama

    When an impoverished single mom is diagnosed with cancer, her teenage son solicits treatment donations by attempting to break the Guinness World Record for continuous wakeboarding of 12 straight hours.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on September 1, 2016 at 5:39 pm

    Agreed with DPG, perhaps best to make it that he must win a contest instead of rely on pledges and record breaking? I think it's safe to say that wakeboarding hasn't quite hit the mark, according to the other comments, have you considered other sports? Running could be far more applicable to an impoRead more

    Agreed with DPG, perhaps best to make it that he must win a contest instead of rely on pledges and record breaking?

    I think it’s safe to say that wakeboarding hasn’t quite hit the mark, according to the other comments, have you considered other sports? Running could be far more applicable to an impoverished family – all it will cost is the price of a pair of shoes. Just a thought as I believe that the inciting incident is sound, but the method to achieving the goal raises too many problems.

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  2. Posted: August 31, 2016In: Drama

    When wakeboarding is announced as an Olympic sport, a gold medal hopeful seeks out training from her disgraced, former champion father.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 1, 2016 at 6:31 am

    Yeah, it reads like a knock off of the tried and trite formula of a kid with a ?Big Dream who must reconcile with a parental figure in order to make his dream come true.The only novel element is the sport, waterboarding. ?Is that a strong enough to generate interest? ?I dunno.

    Yeah, it reads like a knock off of the tried and trite formula of a kid with a ?Big Dream who must reconcile with a parental figure in order to make his dream come true.

    The only novel element is the sport, waterboarding. ?Is that a strong enough to generate interest? ?I dunno.

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  3. Posted: August 30, 2016In: Drama

    When a teenage girl is refused by her school girlfriends for still being a virgin, she decides to commit suicide when a sex offender kidnaps her.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on August 31, 2016 at 5:31 pm

    The stakes don't stack up. School yard popularity ?v serial rape ???!!!!?You just can't compare the two. According to your description the plot should really be about her survival and helping the other prisoners, the backstory shouldn't even be mentioned in the logline. Description of her school friRead more

    The stakes don’t stack up.

    School yard popularity ?v serial rape ???!!!!?You just can’t compare the two.

    According to your description the plot should really be about her survival and helping the other prisoners, the backstory shouldn’t even be mentioned in the logline. Description of her school friends, or lack thereof, should be delegated to the synopsis.

    Here is an example of a logline with your subject matter and character:
    After a depressed teen is kidnapped by a serial rapist, she must lead all the other victims out of their prison to safety.

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