1. Posted: November 12, 2016In:

    A father is conflicted by his son asking about the family business, wanting to raise his son to be an honest man, a father must work against his own family to break the cycle of their petty crime.

    JustinEade Penpusher

    A little vague. Sounds interesting with just a tad more colour... ie. is it a mob family, an IRA family etc. Also double use of the word family not necessary and 'Familys' definitely incorrect - with every word precious, good to get every one right. Also, why is this the only way to keep the familyRead more

    A little vague. Sounds interesting with just a tad more colour… ie. is it a mob family, an IRA family etc. Also double use of the word family not necessary and ‘Familys’ definitely incorrect – with every word precious, good to get every one right. Also, why is this the only way to keep the family together? Is there an inciting incident there? “When a bank robbery goes wrong, a man must work against his own…” etc.

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  2. Posted: November 12, 2016In:

    When a former child star escapes the city, a visit from her former agent with a once in a lifetime deal, she must decide to hide away or face fame one last time.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Agreed with DPG.I would add personal stakes in form of (bit cliche') drug or alcohol abuse. She ran away from a lifestyle that would eventually lead to her own demise.? Perhaps even make her broke and give her a sick parent (who naturally needs very expensive medication), this way she has more to loRead more

    Agreed with DPG.

    I would add personal stakes in form of (bit cliche’) drug or alcohol abuse. She ran away from a lifestyle that would eventually lead to her own demise.? Perhaps even make her broke and give her a sick parent (who naturally needs very expensive medication), this way she has more to lose than just fame if she says ‘no’.

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  3. Posted: November 9, 2016In:

    LOGLINE: A fame obsessed actress with more ambition than talent will must conceal her involvement in the murder of her fianc

    dpg Singularity

    As Nir Shelter said. Walter White's objective -- to provide for his family after his death -- is socially acceptable, a motive everyone can ?empathize with ?and accept. ?What is unacceptable is the means he chooses to achieve his objective goal. And in contrast to the actress in this logline, WalterRead more

    As Nir Shelter said.

    Walter White’s objective — to provide for his family after his death — is socially acceptable, a motive everyone can ?empathize with ?and accept. ?What is unacceptable is the means he chooses to achieve his objective goal.

    And in contrast to the actress in this logline, Walter White did not act in the heat of passion. ?His decision was cold, calculated.

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