1. Posted: November 15, 2016In:

    After her dad dies of a heart attack, a depressed girl struggles with drug addiction, threatening her chances for graduation while her mother battles alcoholism.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Agreed with DPG.I'll add that a story needs to be framed within a finite amount of time and set sequence of events - start, middle and end. In other words, describe an inciting incident, obstacle and goal. Her father dying could constitute and inciting incident, but it then lacks a causal connectionRead more

    Agreed with DPG.

    I’ll add that a story needs to be framed within a finite amount of time and set sequence of events – start, middle and end. In other words, describe an inciting incident, obstacle and goal. Her father dying could constitute and inciting incident, but it then lacks a causal connection to her goal to graduate. I suggest re-thinking this concept with a causally connected event and goal, for example: If her father dies of a rare form of cancer her goal could be to get into medical school and find a cure for it.

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  2. Posted: November 14, 2016In:

    One man’s limitations of faith is challenged when his career, church and whakawhanaungatanga diminishes his true identity. He must awaken his spiritual connection through Christianity.

    Pazzazz Logliner

    Thanks for you review. I was concerned about that as well. I will go back and build it up again.

    Thanks for you review. I was concerned about that as well. I will go back and build it up again.

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  3. Posted: November 12, 2016In:

    When a young army colonel is haunted by his time on the battlefield, he must deal with the atrocities his past in order to survive life off the field. Man Down

    dpg Singularity

    I concur with Nir Shelter that PTSD is not a character flaw. ?In fact, I have come to think less in terms of a "character flaw" and more in terms of a "vulnerability"which can be a matter of ?a personality defect or a matter of a physical or psychological disability or a matter of a disadvantage inRead more

    I concur with Nir Shelter that PTSD is not a character flaw. ?In fact, I have come to think less in terms of a “character flaw” and more in terms of a “vulnerability”which can be a matter of ?a personality defect or a matter of a physical or psychological disability or a matter of a disadvantage in the context of the protagonist’s struggle.

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