Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When a dedicated zookeeper ends up in an unorthodox animal shelter, she becomes fascinated by the back-to-basics-lifestyle of her unsociable boss and his adolescent son.
I like the premise: ?If possible you might want to clarify what unorthodox means in terms of the shelter (If you can do it in just a few words, if it takes a whole paragraph then ignore this suggestion)
I like the premise: ?If possible you might want to clarify what unorthodox means in terms of the shelter (If you can do it in just a few words, if it takes a whole paragraph then ignore this suggestion)
See lessSuffering from deep psychological scars, the troubled young girl struggles to live a normal life again.
Gerald:I notice that this is your 3rd posted logline about a protagonist who is in deep psychological pain. ?So it seems to be the dramatic bone you want to chew on .A protagonist with a troubled psyche is excellent raw material for a drama. ?And the trick to building a movie plot and a logline withRead more
Gerald:
I notice that this is your 3rd posted logline about a protagonist who is in deep psychological pain. ?So it seems to be the dramatic bone you want to chew on .
A protagonist with a troubled psyche is excellent raw material for a drama. ?And the trick to building a movie plot and a logline with that raw material is to have an inciting incident that places that troubled psyche in a specific dramatic situation that forces her to ?overcome her psychological problem in the course of struggling for a specific objective goal.
As an example take the 2010 movie “It’s Kind of a Funny Story”. ? When a?suicidal (character vulnerability) teen checks himself in for an overnight stay in a psyche ward (inciting incident) only to discover he can’t leave for 5 days (dramatic problem), he must find a way to escape (objective goal). ?The movie explores his psychological problem within the specific context of the adult ward of the hospital in which he has unwittingly become trapped. ?His ?struggle for his?objective goal (escaping) is the means by which he works out his ?problem.
This is what your logline needs to do: ?throw your troubled protagonist into a specific situation that compels her to struggle for a ?specific objective goal that she can only achieve by overcoming her psychological problem (aka: her?character arc).
So, in effect, her struggle becomes her healing process.?
And then there is ?“Ordinary People” (1980), ?an emotionally moving and psychologically insightful film ?about a protagonist suffering from “deep psychological scars”. ?(It “only” won Oscars for Best Picture, Best Script adapted from another medium, Best Actor and Best Director.) ?
In “Ordinary People” ?the accidental death of a brother in a boating accident plunges the surviving brother into a suicidal spiral of grief and guilt . ?That is the cause of his psychological scars. ? The movie opens with a PTSD flashback to the incident, the boating accident, that triggers his crisis.
In contrast, ?none of your posted loglines mention an inciting incident. ?We are given no clue as to HOW the girl got her “scars”, WHY she is suffering. ?We don’t ?know what makes her suffering different from anyone else’s suffering in any other film about psychological scars.
What is the specific event that causes her “psychological scars”?
As a result of those scars what MUST she do about it? ?What becomes her specific objective goal, her specific plan to heal those scars?
And here’s a big one: ?what’s at stake if she fails? (In “Ordinary People” the stakes are the protagonist’s very life — he’ll try to commit suicide again.)
fwiw?
See less?A young mother?s life descends into chaos, when her husband talks her into helping him complete a job, as a contract killer, assassinating drug dealers, in the Philippines, but when a job goes wrong, and as a result, her husband is killed, and her children kidnapped, she will stop at nothing to meet revenge and save her kids.? ? SHABU by Judah Ray ?
It seems the logline is not, at all, portraying the story for what it is. Here is the synopsis, in hopes it clears up the story, and help people understand the logline I am trying to achieve.SHABUSynopsis:Aimee is a young woman, living in a Philippine shantytown, with her husband and two young childRead more
It seems the logline is not, at all, portraying the story for what it is. Here is the synopsis, in hopes it clears up the story, and help people understand the logline I am trying to achieve.
SHABU
Synopsis:
Aimee is a young woman, living in a Philippine shantytown, with her husband and two young children. Her community, wrought with poverty, is in the throws of a terrible drug epidemic, centered around a powerful methamphetamine, known as Shabu. Her husband, Jeff Ryan, a retired American veteran, supports his family by working as a contract killer, assassinating drug dealers.
When a hit is ordered on a target, that only a woman can get close enough to take out, Jeff Ryan turns to the only woman he knows… his wife. Aimee, disgusted by the things that she sees happening in her community, agrees to perform the hit. After the job is finished, Aimee carries out an unsanctioned hit, taking out a ruthless drug dealer, whom she had repeatedly seen, brutalizing her helpless neighbor. This causes Aimee’s family to become the targets of a powerful criminal organization, bent on revenge, and the only way that she can save them, is to win, what will prove to be, the fight of her life.
Thank you all for your help and inspiration. I am listening to everyone’s input and trying to apply it to the logline.
See lessJudah Ray